NO PRETENSES - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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Blue 4 true

(Singles’ Tidbits)
As the years come and go and you wait and wait and wait…for that person who would come and just take your breath away, there would be one temptation you might have to deal with, faking you. 

You see, a lot of times you might want to impress someone whom you think might be “the one”.

Now this is not a problem as long as you are just being you. It is good to just be you and let this person love you for who you are no charades, no pretence, and no falsehood. If you try to impress for no matter how long, the real you will show up someday and it might cause a huge rift or even just end it all.

Just imagine that you’ve known someone to be a certain kind of person and one day you discover that it has all been a lie. You really don’t know this person, I know you cannot really know all sides of a person but there are some basics that should help you decide whether or not to marry him or her. But you then realize that he or she did not let you into the real him or her. I bet you would feel bad about it and maybe even loose trust and doubt your decisions.

Now you see why it is important not to pretend when in a relationship, engagement or courtship. Or even if you just met this person, be yourself. If you stay your true self and he or she chooses to marry you with your pluses and minuses… we all do have both, then you can hope that nothing will change that.

It is good to admit that you are not perfect, but becomes a problem, if you decide not to work on your weaknesses.

I hear a lot of people say “she has changed!” or “he has changed!”, but most times they only just showed who they truly are…remember I said most times; sometimes some things do make people change.

So while you wait, help yourself and the guy or girl who you have to do with and be yourself. Let him or her fall in love with YOU as you are.

I know, I know I am sounding very repetitive but I really want to emphasize this because I find that a lot of singles try to win someone’s heart by being what the other person wants instead of being themselves, (now I do not mean you shouldn’t please him or her, but let it not be by pretence). For one day they might decide to be themselves and it is not well taken at all, they are called deceivers, pretenders, liars and more.

It is good to be sincere to yourself and your guy or girl, that way you have some kind of assurance that he or she knew you and still chose you.

Please be wise, do not pretend to be who you are not, while you work towards becoming a better you!

Leviticus 19:11 (NIV)

…Do not deceive one another.

Proverbs 10:9  (ERV)
Honest people can always feel secure…

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Singles
    Posted at 15:36h, 17 June

    Great post and nice conversation. Thanks

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 11:54h, 14 July

      Thanks for stopping by, have a great day!

  • The Pepperrific Life
    Posted at 05:13h, 11 June

    I’m on a mission of self-improvement, and I am quite proud to say that I’m doing this for myself, and not because I’m out to impress a man. I have fallen into that trap before: trying to change for someone else. In the end, things didn’t work out. It really is important to be true to yourself.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 18:05h, 11 June

      Truth Pepper!
      It is for yourself first, and then secondarily for good relationship! Thanks for the visit.
      Have a great week!

  • agman
    Posted at 10:44h, 10 June

    Being true to yourself is good advise, thank you.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 18:00h, 11 June

      Thanks Agman,
      I am glad you found it true.
      Have a great week!

  • Cynthia
    Posted at 03:27h, 10 June

    Love your post. I have a lot of friends who are still looking for the one and I know that a lot of them, especially the ones that are approaching the big 40 are saying, maybe I need to change me. I will definitely share.


    • Ugochi
      Posted at 17:57h, 11 June

      Thanks Cynthia,
      I am glad you have someone to share it with.
      Have a great week!

  • Weather Anchor Mama
    Posted at 22:26h, 09 June

    This is so true. I had an issue this past week. I thought someone was mad cool, but turned out to be such a-hole. Visiting from Sits! LIke your blog!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 17:53h, 11 June

      Thanks, I am glad you could relate to this. Thank you for visiting!
      Have a great week!

  • MrsP
    Posted at 21:30h, 09 June

    Had to look you up after you left a comment on my blog the other day, and you bring something I see only rarely…encouragement for singles. I will pass this along. Thanks.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 17:52h, 11 June

      Thanks Mrs P,
      I appreciate your visiting too. And thanks for passing it along.
      Have a great week!

  • Tim
    Posted at 01:17h, 10 June

    Be yourself -, Mama, great lines, and eternal truths.
    Wonder how many of us can relate with God pretending to be something we are not before Him? It won’t work. He demands honesty and sincerity. He aint looking for pefect people, He love us as we are, and seeking to smoothing our rough edges as we expose they to Him. God is love, and same applies when it comes to genuine love. Be yourself, love will meet you as you are and make you a better person over the journey of time.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 17:56h, 11 June

      Thanks bro!
      You are so right, God loves us like we are, and He expects us to do the same.
      Thanks for stopping by, have a great week!

  • Kari
    Posted at 19:29h, 09 June

    Great words of advice! I married my high school sweetheart (20 yrs. ago) and so I’ve never really known what it’s like to be out there living the single life, looking for your mate. But, it is true that you have to be yourself and show who you really are if you want it to work. Stopped in from SITS to say hello. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 12:23h, 10 June

      Thanks Kari, I appreciate your visit. And congratulations on your 20Th anniversary, wishing you many more twenty years.

      Have a great Sunday!

  • ♥ Shar
    Posted at 18:29h, 09 June

    Great post! I love the last line especially! Many people go into relationships and marriages being someone who they aren’t which results in breaks and divorce because they start to show who they really are later on down the line, and not the person their s/o fell in love with!

    Have a great weekend!

    xoxo -Shar

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 18:43h, 09 June

      Yes Shar, it is always good to keep it real. Thanks for visiting.
      Have a wonderful weekend!