Sometime ago a man told me of how he could have sex with any girl in the past. He told of how promiscuous he was and how he is grateful to have come out of that lifestyle. When I asked how he could sleep with even girls he didn’t find attractive, he said that he sometimes literally found a way to put a pillow over their faces , finish with them and get off. He said to me that all he wanted at the time was “what he wanted” not their faces. He made me to understand that sex is no proof
of love to many and I have come to understand what he meant.
I hear a lot of people tell me that their boyfriends or girlfriends tell them that if they really wanted to show that they loved them then they should have sex with them. In fact a lady approached me with this issue and wanted my counsel. I told her that this guy was only lusting after her, he didn’t really love her. If he did, he would respect her desire to keep sex for the right time-after marriage.
Please make no mistake; sex is no proof of love. So do not let anyone manipulate you with the talk that you should have sex with him/her to prove your love. Love does the right thing, love waits for the right time, and love treats the other person with dignity and respect. Love is disciplined and it is not in a hurry.
Like I always say, if he/she cannot wait, then something may be wrong, what if after you get married and one of you has to travel for perhaps a long time, what happens when the sexual urges come up? Would the next available person suffice? If you cannot control your sexual lusts before marriage, there is no guarantee you would be able to after marriage.
If you want to build your marriage and home on the right foundation, then wait until you are wedded and seal your covenant with sex, it is a covenant not just for pleasure. To enjoy your marriage you should follow the pattern of The Originator of marriage. He has the blue print of a successful marriage, and He says that sex is only for a married couple. Don’t follow this world’s pattern, follow God’s pattern, His instructions give life.
Proverbs 4:13 (NIV)
Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
3It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;
4that each of you should learn to control your own bodyin a way that is holy and honorable.