WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING OUT FOR? - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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what are you looking out forAs a single lady, I had in mind the kind of man I wanted to marry. A man who is:

Dark, really dark- like my father
Broad shouldered
Husky voiced- maybe I read too much romance growing up
Very romantic- too much romance novels again
With a nine to five job-wanted the evenings and weekends for us
Very cuddly: especially when we sleep

A person: 
With strong family values and would give his family the attention they deserve
Who would love me and treat me right
Who would never lift his finger on me
Who basically fears God and lives exclusively for Him…without alternatives.
See what I got: 
Not very tall, 5.8/9ft
Not as dark as I desired
Not broad shouldered, slim, and in fact was very slim when I met him
Not husky voiced at all
Romantic in his own special way
His work schedule is…you don’t want to know
But he makes good time for his family
Not able to hold me in his arms through the night, lol!
When he proposed I wondered why he didn’t look like I dreamed. He not dark black like my father, no husky romantic voice, in fact his proposal had no romantic side at all.But:

Places great value on his family
Loves me beyond my merit
Never lifted his finger over me
Loves God with everything in him
Passionate about his obedience to God’s word
Always ready to help people…

What! God is he the one?

As I battled with those physical parameters not being met, I had a peace I never had from the proposals of earlier suitors. I kept getting reassured in my heart that this one is the one, I said yes. Barely three weeks after I met him.

I can tell you that though he didn’t “look” like prayer answered, he sure “is”. God answered me beyond my imagination; He gave me one of His best.

This reminds me of a story my husband read and always tells, of a young man who desired to have a car gift from his father upon his graduation, but instead when he unwrapped his gift it was a book, not just any book-The Bible. Young and full of energy he just tossed it aside and left it in his room as he headed out of his father’s house to start his own life. When he came home after some years on his father’s passing, he went to his room and decided to open the Bible, yes, you guessed right if you thought he found a car key, with a receipt in his name to go and pick it up from the car shop.

I have never stopped telling young or unmarried people to place more importance on the content of their desired spouse than the container, on the gift more than the package. It is important to look beyond the physical when considering whom to marry. Looks can be very deceptive; the heart is the heart of the matter. Look at the heart; trust God for an exposition of this person before you go on.

Now, I am not saying that physical attraction does not matter, but looks cannot hold any relationship, it does not last forever, it can fade. It is nothing to bank on at all, the only thing that counts is the content and condition of the heart.

Speaking of the heart, everyone was born with a corrupt heart.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

But God can create the right heart for anyone.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you:

Only a heart that believes in and completely trusts in God, that loves Him absolutely will be able to love you and make a blissful home with you.

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

Choose wisely; don’t give up the content for the container.

Photo Credit: Shutter Stock
Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • The Lovely One
    Posted at 05:03h, 03 June

    Another great post! I agree that looks aren’t everything, it’s what’s in his heart that matters!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:26h, 03 June

      Yes, the heart matters most. Thanks for visiting, have a great week!

  • kendrastamy@yahoo.com
    Posted at 02:31h, 03 June

    Funny, I always thought I would marry some one a little taller than I and with dark hair and brown eyes. Hubby had a mental picture of blond hair and blue eyes. If you look at our pictures you will laugh!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:21h, 03 June

      Very funny Kendra, beautiful gifts in different packages. Thanks for coming by. Have a great week!

  • Cynthia
    Posted at 02:27h, 03 June

    This is an awesome article. I know that a lot of women have the best spouses in the world and ruin relationship because they are still looking for those superficial things they dreamed up as children. I have always looked at my relationship as a gift, not because I found my idea man that I dreamed up but because I was fortunate enough to recognize the gift that I was given when my husband proposed. Thank you of reminding me how special that gift truly is

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:05h, 03 June

      Thanks Cynthia, I am learning everyday to be grateful for THE GIFT I have instead of the one I’ve dreamed up. Thanks for visiting.

  • Reggie White
    Posted at 01:31h, 03 June

    I really like this post…it has so many elements wrapped into it…all good of course. I enjoyed reading it…a lot of good advice…and lessons 🙂

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and for following.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 15:56h, 03 June

      Great Reggie, thanks for visiting!

  • The Pepperrific Life
    Posted at 04:02h, 03 June

    What an excellent and inspiring post! Bouncing off a failed marriage, I find hope in your post :). If and when the right person for me comes along, I will definitely not base it all on looks alone. Oh, I hope he comes soon… Thanks for sharing this.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:25h, 03 June

      I am so grateful you find hope here. He will come soon Pepper, just believe and prepare yourself for when He shows up. Thanks for visiting, have a great week.

  • Rebecca R.
    Posted at 20:58h, 02 June

    Awesome post!! So much wisdom here – and your husband sounds terrific! Those are such great verses too – thank you for blessing me with your insight!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:44h, 03 June

      Thanks Rebecca, he is a gift. I am so grateful you were blessed. Thanks a lot for visiting. Have a great week!

  • Becca Acker
    Posted at 18:44h, 02 June

    Great post! I enjoy the wisdoms you share. 🙂

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 19:04h, 02 June

      Hi Becca, thanks a lot. Have a wisdom full weekend!