EXTREME HELP - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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After we had a meal few weeks ago my husband went to the kitchen to help me do the dishes. I was very grateful as I was quite tired and in need of that help. I decided to just relax right there on the dining table and enjoy a bit of a holiday from dish washing. Our two elder sons were in the kitchen to assist him and they were having quite some fun working with dad. 

My husband called from the kitchen after a while, to say that he found a lot of dirt hidden under a warmer lid and he was going to take the lid apart, clean it up, and couple it back.

I didn’t want to get into the kitchen because I was afraid I would get tempted to join in the work. So I just muttered a “go ahead” from the dining without giving a careful thought to what He said. He was apparently excited that he had discovered and was removing dirt for me, perhaps because he thought I was a meticulous person and would appreciate this discovery and removal.

A couple of moments later, I walked into the kitchen to find him trying to couple the “destroyed” lid back, to no avail. After he had tried for a while and it would not come back together, he tendered some apologies and left it. 



I stood in the kitchen staring at the lid, the warmer is one of my favourites and to think that I have “lost” it almost brought tears to my eyes. Am I supposed to get angry and ask why he didn’t just leave it the way it was, or should I be silent and appreciate the fact that he was trying to help and meant no “destruction”? Why was he not careful, why did he not make sure he could fix it back before he pulled it apart? As I asked these questions I found anger welling up in me and I picked up this lid, in frustration, struggling to see if I could fix it. 

I could not, it was apparent that a clip or “tooth” that was meant to hold it together had been broken. I sighed and started speaking to myself. I told myself to see that he meant no harm and was only trying to help. Before I walked out of the kitchen I made sure I had a “not angry” look on my face. And as I write, he didn’t know I felt the way I did (I think), but he would get to know when he reads this. Thank God I was able to deal with it and appreciate his help instead of flying off the handle.

1Thessalonians-5:18 ISV
In everything be thankful, because this is God’s will for you in the Messiah Jesus.

Psalm-37:8 ISV
Calm your anger and abandon wrath. Don’t be angry—it only leads to evil.

James-1:20 ISV
For human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Proverbs-19:11 ISV
A person’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is to his credit that he ignores an offence.

I can imagine how it would have made him feel if to think I didn’t appreciate his helping out with the dishes. It may have even resulted to something ugly (see Psalm 37 above) if I had not dealt with the pain and anger. After all he was only trying to help, even though it was an  EXTREME HELP!”

Have you ever had to deal with any “extreme help” situation with your spouse or anybody? How did you handle it?

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Daisy TrendyMomReviews
    Posted at 01:55h, 30 May

    New Follower! Looking forward to reading more on your blog!
    Hope you will follow back.
    Daisy @ http://trendymomreviews.blogspot.com

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 18:47h, 31 May

      Thanks for stopping by, I follow.

  • Mikki
    Posted at 14:07h, 29 May

    It’s so hard to kill the flesh in us! I’ve been there, although rarely with as much grace as you exhibited.

    I just realized I failed to finish following back all my blog friends from last week’s Flock Together and am so sorry! I am now your happy LF follower! Hope you’ll hop with me again soon!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:48h, 29 May

      Thanks Mikki, have a great week! God bless!

  • kendrastamy@yahoo.com
    Posted at 01:09h, 29 May

    So glad u were able to do the right thing. So many times I fail in my role as a wife and help meet and respond in an unloving way.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 14:08h, 29 May

      We all do make those mistakes, but thank God for His mercy and grace to deal with our short comings and grow out of them.

  • Cat von Hassel-Davies
    Posted at 00:51h, 29 May

    This is such a wonderful post. I also tend to get angry and don’t control. I am working on it and it really helps to just be present in the moment, like you seemed to have been.


    • Ugochi
      Posted at 14:06h, 29 May

      True Cat, we all are working on it, leaning on God’s grace.
      Thanks for visiting, I appreciate you.

  • futurehope
    Posted at 21:20h, 28 May

    Oh man, I found myself smiling a bit as I read your post because I have definitely been there too! sometimes I have been able to handle it with grace and a smile, and other times not so much. I’m still growing in that area for sure!

    thanks for the great honest post and reminder to respond in love!!! 🙂

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 14:04h, 29 May

      We all have missed it sometime or the other. But we keep leaning on God’s grace. Thanks for stopping by and with a comment too.
      God bless!

  • Becca Acker
    Posted at 16:20h, 28 May

    It’s so hard to not get angry over things sometimes. James 1:20 is such a good (and needed) reminder. Our anger seems to stem from selfishness so much of the time. I think that’s why (at least for me) it’s hard to get rid of it; cuz I’m often too selfish. Hopeful thing is, God can help us change! And anything He tells us to do/be, He is able to give us the power to do/be!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 18:29h, 28 May

      You are right Becca,
      Always thinking of ourselves always makes us react badly to situations. But thank God for His word that shows us what to do.
      Thanks for stopping by Becca,

  • Kelly Scott
    Posted at 15:37h, 28 May

    Yes, yes and yes but I haven’t always been as thankful and appreciative as you were in that situation! I’m afraid my anger and fear often gets in the way: anger that he started something he couldn’t/wouldn’t finish and fear that I couldn’t afford to fix the warmer. What a great example you were to him and I bet he fixes the situation because you put your trust in him and didn’t explode in front of your family. God bless you!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 18:22h, 28 May

      Thanks Kelly,
      I wish I could tell this is how I react all the time, but God has been helping me. Emotions always get in the way but we can trust God to help us. Thanks for stopping by Kelly, I really appreciate it.

  • Steve niklas
    Posted at 15:04h, 28 May

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