I’M THIS, YOU’RE THAT! - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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Why is it that I used to think my husband was very funny and I enjoyed that he made me laugh, but now I sometimes think he just talks too much?

My husband always tells of how he enjoyed my toilet manners and cleanliness consciousness, the first time he saw me, I had just used the toilet, was washing my hands and he fell in love with that…
now I see that he feels I always make an issue about tidying up.
He and I are the same in so many ways; 
Let me tell you some of the many ways:
  • We both love to travel, though we do not get that travel time as often as we would have wanted.
  • We both love to read, we like to buy and read books on many topics of most times similar interest.
  • We love to have fun, love fancy restaurants and hotels.
  • We are both very much in love with music.
  • We both have a passion for the less fortunate; one of the things we discovered when we met was that we both want to have a home for the destitute.
  • We have an unquestionable passion for God and His kingdom. And both of us desire strongly to please Him in all our ways.
And there are lots more…

Now let me tell the many ways we are different:

  • He never gets tired of talking, he is always too happy to keep quiet even when he says he is tired. I like to talk, but sometimes when I’m tired I just want to be quiet. He thinks I am not happy because I am not talking, and when I am that tired, I am not good with him in conversations, he doesn’t like that at all. I also feel he should understand me, be quiet and let us enjoy some silence. HE NEVER UNDERSTANDS IT WHEN I SAY THAT.
  • He likes the music really LOUD, I like it low most of the time. This has caused some issues in the past.
  • He likes to be blunt and matter-of –fact with the truth, which I must admit is very important in some occasions. But I always choose to be soft and gentle, afraid I might lose the person if I’m not. I always tell him to take it easy and he tells me I’m way too sensitive.
  • I can worry a lot about tidy…tidy…tidy; he will let nothing bother him. He just wants to have fun, even when the house is IN A STATE. I am still trying to understand this; I have to do a lot of talking to myself in order to play at this time.
  • He thinks I eat too little, I think his appetite is too large. And just so you know, I am not under weight and he is not over weight.  Most times when we eat out he thinks I just play around with the food; he does not like this at all.
In marriage two become one, the differences in couples are supposed to blend them into a strong ONE.

My area of weakness is supposed to be covered by my husband’s area of strength and vice-versa. 
Let me explain; I can get serious, in fact, too serious that I forget to just relax and have fun, making me cranky and irritable. My husband likes to have fun, he enjoys whatever he is doing and always attempts to have fun with it. So when I am too serious, he helps me relax, he could throw in a joke or say something to lighten me up, that way he provides me with strength in my area of weakness.

The same thing applies in all other areas of our weaknesses and strengths.

Most times however, couples allow these differences to become reasons for quarrels and fights. It shouldn’t be so, we are meant to strengthen one another, we are meant to complement each other with our strength, not quarrel over our differences. 
God brought you and your spouse together because He knows that together you become a complete ONE, filling in the gap for one another.

Ecclesiastes-4:9a, 10

9a Two are better than one;
10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Choose to allow God help you be the strength in your spouse’s weakness.

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Becca Acker
    Posted at 05:39h, 21 February

    Beautifully written! I must say, parts of it made me chuckle.
    Isn’t it amazing how our God works, bringing two together to make, as you said, “a strong one”?

  • Kendra @ A Proverbs 31 Wife
    Posted at 11:50h, 08 May

    My hubby is my best friend and worst enemy! I know that sounds bad but it’s not.
    Our differences have brought us closer in my cases. He has learned how to handle money and I have learned more about history and boats and airplanes than I ever dreamed possible. I have learned to like his music and he is ok with me cranking up the volume as long as it’s a song he likes 🙂
    He drives me crazy at times and yet I couldn’t live without him!
    I love visiting your blog for the encouragement you offer.

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 14:34h, 08 May

    Hi Irene, every couple faces this but when they realize their differences are blessings in disguise as they compliment each other’s weakness, it becomes a source of strength for both of them and their marriage.
    And making God the center of your marriage is a very wise choice.

    Thanks for visiting.

    Will check it out.

    God’s grace and speed!

  • Irene @ Inspiration From The Little Things
    Posted at 14:16h, 08 May

    Hi Ugochi 🙂 I am not yet married but I think I understand what you and your husband are going through as a couple because of my parents. Sometimes those differences create issues up until this point and seeing them argue sometimes makes me tired. I do wish that I could change them but well, I can never change other people. But what I am learning from being a witness to my parents’ married life is for me to not commit the mistakes they did. And of course, to make God the center of the relationship. 🙂

    Nice meeting you, Ugochi! Anyway, you can visit me back at my blog http://softvoiceofafreespirit.blogspot.com/ … I update this more than the other one. Take care and God bless! 🙂

  • Rocks
    Posted at 09:25h, 08 May

    My husband and I have a lot of differences too and yet I know we are ONE and that we compliment each other 🙂

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 12:35h, 08 May

    Thanks Kendra, your comments are encouraging too.

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 12:34h, 08 May

    Praise God Rocks! Few people haven’t realized this yet. Thanks for stopping by.

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 12:15h, 08 May

    You are very correct Lagosmums, thanks for stopping by.

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 12:14h, 08 May

    Truth Agman, we face the same challenges other couples face but we come out on top because of God’s grace and our trust in Him.

  • agman
    Posted at 07:12h, 08 May

    You and your husband seem to have a big advantage in the game of love and marriage? a firm belief in your faith and your God. be well

  • Lagosmums
    Posted at 07:48h, 08 May

    Indeed it takes patienece and maturity to be able to identify differences as a couple and not let it become issues and an avenue for constant arguments. As you have said our spouse’s strenghts can make up for our weaknesses.

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 20:43h, 07 May

    I agree Sandra, with three boys and a husband to take care of I couldn’t agree more. But I strongly believe that no matter how busy we are, we must take time to work on our marriages, the marriage was before the children and it’s success is a boost for the welfare of the children as well.
    Our marriages are as important as our children, we must not follow hard after one and neglect the other.

    Thanks for stopping by Sandra.

  • Ugochi
    Posted at 20:12h, 07 May

    Hi Joni, I am so grateful it meant something to you. I hope both of you will find that support in each other and blend into that complete ONE. Thanks a lot for stopping by.

    God’s grace and speed!

  • joni taylor
    Posted at 13:24h, 07 May

    Thank you for posting this. I needed it more than anyone can know. We were just having this discussion last night about how different we are and how my husband and I are aware and concerned that it could drive a wedge…so thank you so much for this post.

  • Sandra Tyler
    Posted at 14:02h, 07 May

    12 years and two kids later, I try not to think too hard on our marriage. marriage really, is about sharing, but also once you have kids just keeping everything harmonic, rollling along. Hate to sound practical but…romantic dinners usually wind up talks about the kids which is just fine. Thanks for visiting my blog!