Pauline, (not her real name) stood looking at me as if I had just stabbed her chest with a jack knife.
“He is an unbeliever” I continued, “You do not have common grounds to make marriage a success.”
Pauline looked away; it was obvious that she had drifted far from the spot in the church auditorium where we stood.
As a young lady or man, you may think time is passing you by and you become desperate and begin to make desperate moves to get married.
I do not think desperation in itself is wrong but what or whom it drives you to is important.
I have heard singles give God ultimatums like, “God, if by October this year no brother comes to marry me, I will marry anybody I see!”
I’ve even heard how a group of “born-again sisters” gate crash secular parties because they feel that limiting themselves to Christian gatherings has been the hindrance to their getting married. “Husbands are not only found in church” They say. It is true, but I wonder how responsible the one you will find in an ungodly gathering would be.
The reason I’m always reluctant to discuss this, especially with singles that are ready for marriage is because I do not want to sound or look insensitive to their emotions or situations.
There is a saying that has kind of become my cliché “IT IS BETTER TO LIVE A HAPPY SINGLE LIFE AND GO TO HEAVEN WITH COMMENDABLE RESULTS THAN TO MARRY IN DISOBEDIENCE AND LIVE A MISERABLE LIFE ON EARTH WITHOUT MAKING ANY IMPACT FOR GOD AND HIS KINGDOM.”
Please note that I did not say you should not get married, I only mean that it is better to stay single and receive a reward from God than to marry the wrong person and spend a life time trying to avoid a divorce or deal with its repercussions.
I am also not saying that marrying God’s will for your life means you will not need to work at your marriage, but it is very different because when both spouses love God, it is a lot easier to deal with issues because you’ve got common grounds and understanding.
Some sisters say “it’s okay to have sex with him; he has threatened to leave me if I do not yield.” If he can’t wait, then he is not a godly man, same thing brothers, if the sister doesn’t wait then she is not godly.
Obedience always brings the blessing. God says in Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Sisters, “If God says a thing, He will make it good. Don’t make yourself cheap, keep your dignity and wait for the man to woo you: that is God’s order. If God says to you that “he” is the one, then position yourself in faithful service unto God and watch Him make good His word.
Like wise brothers, do not deceive any lady into marriage, be true, be real and you will find a true and real person as well.
Let your desperation drive you to God:
· Spend quality time in His presence while you wait.
· Wait patiently.
· Believe Him while you wait.
· Sow seeds while you wait.
· Develop godly character while you wait.
· Develop and improve on yourself while you wait.
· Serve God while you wait
· Make disciples for God while you wait.
· Make impact for God while you wait.
· Pursue your dreams while you wait and
· Praise God while you wait.
Marriage is not an end; it is a means to an end. Marriage does not mean you have arrived; it is only a step into another phase of your life. DO NOT PUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON HOLD BECAUSE YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED. Go on and live.
Your life means something to God. Allow God to give meaning to your life, discover your purpose and pursue it while you wait for the spouse that God has promised. His Word cannot fail you.
The bible says in 2nd Corinthians 6:14 – Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?
If you marry outside God’s will, if you marry an unbeliever, you will have to toil and labour, some have even died as a result.
Proverbs 13:15b………………but the way of transgressors is hard. If you disobey you are signing up for a hard life.
Wait and marry a believer, not even just a believer, but one who truly fears God, you must depend on the Holy Spirit. He loves you; he will not keep silent while you make a wrong decision. Only listen and obey.
Your wait will not be in vain, the wife or husband that comes from God will be worth the wait and favour and peace will fill your marriage. WAIT!!!
Copyright© Teshuva 2012
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