14 Mar PROPER PATRICIA
Have you ever met her? Proper Pat I mean. She has everything under control, everything is in place. If you haven’t met her, I have, I actually used to be her; I believe. But I am walking away from her.
I grew up knowing prim and proper. We were taught to clean, dust and arrange the house. I like arranged, I like neat, I like order I, like spick and span.
Over eleven years ago I met and married my dear husband; Benson Jolomi and my life turned “Right side up” Socks on the floor, wet towels on the bed, tooth brush on table…you get the picture. I totally lost it, nagging, complaining, griping and sad.
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| Wet towel on the bed! |
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| Socks on the floor! |
Now understand with me please, I have known “prim and proper” too long that I was threatened by the fiasco flying about in our house. Most times I was too busy and tired to be excited when in my own house: Picking up, mopping, cooking cleaning, dusting, nagging and I am too exhausted to be nice in the end. I was angry that my husband could walk pass a tie hanging on the dining chair, or trip over shoes by the front door and walk right on.
Sometimes he is in the sitting room watching the European League, and he screams for me in excitement when a goal is scored, I always used to get angry at him, thinking he had no right to be entertaining himself when I am so hard pressed with chores. I thought my husband was a very strange specie. How could someone be so happy when his house, by his own hands, is in disarray?
My husband thought it strange too, that I would get all cranky and irritable at the slightest drop of stuff. He often tells me that life is too short here on earth to lose my joy over small stuff. He tells me to learn to learn to enjoy my life, and sincerely, I thought him very strange. How could he be so insensitive.
Then came Joshua, Joseph and Josiah (our sons) and things got even “better”. I would shoo them off most times when they wanted play. Being uptight, impulsive spanks and yelling became a pattern for me as I raised my boys.
This is not what I wanted for life; I wanted to make good memories of me for my boys. I started relaxing a bit, taking things easy; I started living unimportant things undone so I could save energy for the important things. Let the socks lay there till morning, won’t hurt anyone would it? Allow the tie rest on the chair and do not nag about it. Let the clothes hang on there, it does not make me a bad mother or wife. I can do it later, I’ll focus on taking care of my husband and children, spending time with them and making good memories of me for them.
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| Let the clothes hang there! |
I am not perfect yet, I still worry about mess, cook and clean, pick up socks and shoes, and all the other stuff. But I do it with more leisure and less uptightness; I work towards keeping my joy more often as I speak the word of God to myself. Like it is often said I’m not where I should be but not where I used to be. I am making remarkable and traceable progress. I want to be a good mother and wife, keeping my home neat and cosy, yet not too worked up so I become irritable, cranky and naggy.
Mothers ,learn to play a little, and let the chores wait awhile.
All mothers who feel me say I… and scroll down to leave your comment.
Happy Mother’s day in advance!
ugochi-jolomi/BWbi
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Posted at 14:07h, 18 April[…] find one that will speak to you afresh. They are all in red and capital letters too! I used to be PROPER PATRICIA, you know sometimes people just cannot help LOSING LOVE, because they think I AM THIS, YOU’RE […]
Olaedo
Posted at 21:21h, 10 FebruaryI can so relate to this post!
I love squeaky clean, organized, spik and span too. I’ve been without a help for a long while now and I’ve finally realized that trying to keep up to my steep standards of hygiene and order, all by myself, saps a whole lot of my joy.
To be honest, it’s still bothers me when it gets really overwhelming and that’s why I’m getting a help in a few days, lol.
But in the meantime, I’ve learnt to put my feet up when I’m tired, play and chat with my kids, and the best.. spend time with the Mister…. even when there are dirty dishes in the sink 🙂
Ugochi
Posted at 13:44h, 11 FebruaryOh yes even with dirty dishes in the sink, lol! We best enjoy our loved one and stop the beating up of “clean”
Thanks a lot for coming by and have a super blessed day!
Love
Anonymous
Posted at 10:06h, 06 Februaryomg…………this is sooooooo me, thank God im learning to relax a bit, it was beginning to get on my hubby’s nerves.lo
Ugochi
Posted at 14:42h, 06 FebruaryThis relaxation does save us a whole lot of stress and unhappiness.
Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day!
Love
Ugochi
Posted at 11:07h, 07 MayTime does go by very fast, I need to bear that in mind! What our new names should be…would Fun-To-Be-With Fiona be good? I enjoyed reading your comment.
Thanks for the visit!
Stephanie
Posted at 10:42h, 07 MayOh how I wish I had let the little things go when my kids were smaller 🙂 Now that they are older I see how silly it was to worry about a clean house. Time goes by so fast! So goodby proper Pat, what should our new names be?
Thanks for stopping by my blog!!