For the next couple of weeks I want to write on some problematic issues in marriage and by the help of The Holy Spirit attempt to proffer solutions by God’s word.
This week I want to look at something hardly talked about but is present and disturbing in many marriages.
I know when addiction is mentioned, a lot of times what comes to mind would be drugs. But if you look around or within you, you will discover that there are so many other silent but disturbing addictions that are affecting marriages and homes today.
Some of these addictions stem from habits that were not controlled or put under. It happens when someone gets enslaved to a habit or practice, or to something that causes unhealthy interferences to a harmonious marital relationship.
Especially if he or she feels they cannot “do” without it or strike a healthy balance so that their spouse and children do not feel pain, hurt, ignored, neglected, unattended to, or abused.
Sometimes people who are addicted in this way may be in denial, not realizing that their habit is out of control and causing problems for their spouses and/or children. Some people even blame these habits on their spouses, claiming that they are the ones who drive them into these “things”.
The other spouse may have mentioned that thing or habit as an interference in their relationship but the one addicted would argue that it is not a problem, usually he or she would feel their spouse is only overreacting. They hardly notice the damage that addiction is bringing on their marriage and family. Sometimes they realize it is wrong and step into hiding to continue.
The other spouse is left heart broken and frustrated especially if his/spouse picked up that habit after marriage.
Pornography, Television, compulsive shopping, partying, loose talking, hanging out with friends, and too much time on the web are some of the common habits besides drinking, smoking, drugs, promiscuity. These are culprits in many marital problems and sometimes they have become strong holds in the minds and lives of the addicts because they begin to feel helpless and shift blame.
- The great news is that God can deliver from addiction, no matter how strong it has become or how long it has lasted.
For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1:37
God has promised to take our burdens from us if only we submit them to Him.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28
- Addictions begin mostly from selfishness, the desire to gratify the desires of the flesh. God in His word commands that we abstain from urges of the flesh…
Beloved, I implore you as aliens and strangers and exiles [in this world] to abstain from the sensual urges (the evil desires, the passions of the flesh, your lower nature) that wage war against the soul.
1 Peter 2:11 AMP
- Even when you think you cannot control it, you are not helpless, remember that you can do all things through Christ. Philippians 4:13
- Most importantly, remember that God is all powerful and no addiction is too powerful for Him.
Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is there anything too hard for Me? Jeremiah 32:27
- Must agree that he/she is addicted. Proverbs 28:13
- Must have the desire to stop. Psalm 37:4
- Must submit to God for help. James 4:7
- Must meditate on God’s word for liberty. Romans 12:2, Psalm 119:11
- Must submit to spouse and family for accountability. Ecclesiastes 4:9-11
The Other Spouse
- Must depend on God for his/her spouse’s deliverance. Matthew 11:28
- Must intercede for his/her spouse for a break free. John 14:13, 1 Timothy 2:1
- Must love his/her spouse through it, while not aiding him/her.1 Corinthians 13:8
- Must be patient and kind to her spouse while trusting God for his/her spouse. 1 Corinthians 13:4
Couples must know that it is very vital that marital issues are discussed and amended before they become addictions that become very difficult to correct.
I know… there are some people who do not agree that they are addicted and do not want to be helped. I believe prayer changes things, if your spouse is one of those, do not cease asking that God will change his/her heart.
God is able!
Are you dealing with any addiction?
Are you working with God to put it under?
Is there any problematic issue you would suggest I write on?
Copyright© Teshuva 2015
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