Should I forgive Adultery?

Should I forgive Adultery?

should I forgive adulteryI do not know any man or woman that loves to share his or her spouse with someone else. Okay well, I know a couple of people, ladies mostly, and surprisingly young ladies (especially in Africa) who walk into a marriage with man and wife or wives. These people are only exceptions… they have reasons why they went in and I am not about to discuss any of those here.

You can read previous posts on adultery Here and Here.

There is no man or woman in their right mind who is delighted to know that their wife or husband is having an affair adulterous relationship with some other person(s). It can be a very devastating discovery which could lead to many things…

  • The anger and desire to fight, destroy, defame, deface, confront… This is not the best way to go. No thing done in anger produces good results.
  • The thought that you did something wrong that lead to him/her desiring someone else. This might be true, because sometimes a person’s negative attitude might become an issue and when a spouse sees someone who seems to soothe the hurt…

BUT THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR ADULTERY

  • The desire to just pack up and leave, thinking that your spouse is no good and does not love you anymore.

People make mistakes and adultery is one of them, sometimes the people who commit adultery do not set out to commit the act from the beginning; they ignored caution and signals, thought they were very strong or they simply played into it.

THE QUESTION.
Should I forgive my spouse in adultery? Should I let him/her into my bed again? Isn’t this the ground for divorce?

But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. Matthew 5:32 AMP

Adultery is the only ground Jesus has allowed for divorce.

So if you discover your spouse has committed this sin, and you cannot take it and you divorce him or her, you have not sinned.

However, there is something greater than judgement – MERCY.

You Can Forgive.
I know…I know… please drop the stone…  
How can one forgive a spouse that had the heart to cheat, defile the marriage bed and break covenant? I know it is a very hard thing to ask or give, but really, what degree of sin can God not forgive. If He could forgive us of our numerous sins of varying degrees, if He could forgive us of our many slips and even accept us again and again after many times we have turned from Him… adultery can be forgiven too, and the offender accepted. We all have the grace to forgive, we only need to activate and use it.

Please understand that I do not support adultery or adulterous people, some have chosen never to be faithful to their spouses, some do not consider it any big deal, especially those without Christ.

What I am saying is, if your spouse commits adultery, is sorry and asks for mercy, you should be able to forgive, knowing that you too were forgiven.

…Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:14 NLT

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4: 32 ESV

Do you think adultery is forgivable?

Copyright© Teshuva 2015

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Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a Christ-follower, wife to Benson, mother of 3 awesome boys, God's agent, speaker and blogger. Writing to inspire you for a better life in God! Find her on: google
Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

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6 Comments

  1. Thank you for the powerful reminder of God’s mercy and forgiveness. The verse you chose from Ephesians gently calls us to forgiveness because Christ forgives us. My experience with others who have had a spouse who committed adultery has not had a happy ending but I also want to point out that these people were not ones who put Christ first in their lives either. I pray that all couples who marry work together to build up their marriage and not let the world tear it down. Blessings!

    1. Putting Chrsit first is very key to all aspects of life. God help us all to always remember that.
      Thanks Mary for sharing with us here. Do have a super blessed weekend!
      Love

  2. Yes, I know it is forgivable. Someone extremely close to me forgave it and took back the erring spouse. Because of it, the person was restored back to God, and they left this world prepared and in relationship with Jesus Christ. If God can forgive us, we can forgive others. No one will ever commit as horrible of an act as those cruel Roman soldiers abused and killed Jesus, and He cried, “Father, forgive them!” Even them. It reminds me of where Jesus talked about the man who was forgiven a great debt, then went out and demanded the man who owed him money pay up or be punished. We have ALL been forgiven a great debt, and we are more than likely going to need more forgiveness before we leave this world, so we must learn to forgive others, God help us.

    1. I am glad to know you know someone like that, I pray someone who reads this will be encouraged.
      We must always guard ourselves and marriages angainst divorce but sometimes people can slip and people must learn to forgive.
      Thanks Cheryl, do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  3. I know of many marriages that have been rocked by adultery but have banded together and weathered that storm in their marriage. It, in some cases, made the marriage all the stronger going forward, Ugochi. I, too, am not saying that an affair is okay or not a big deal–it truly is! But God’s grace and love are bigger and can help us climb that mountain! Hugs to you, my friend!

    1. I am glad to hear these testimonies Beth, cause I know some couples who won the victory too.
      Hugs right back to you, I am blessed to “know” you!
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

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