When Words Won’t Come Out Right


When words won't come out rightI have heard a lot of people say they do not want to say anything or comment on a matter because they fear the words won’t come out right. They hold their thoughts and tongues back and battle hard not to as much as part their lips for fear that the words their tongues wag frantically to release would escape against their will.

Not long ago I told my husband the same thing. I told him I didn’t want to respond to the question he was asking because I wasn’t sure the words would come out right. I knew my sincere response to his question and I sincerely knew it was not going to bring any healing or health to his ears or heart or to us as couple.

Even though I thought I had dealt with it and was doing well, even though I thought I had given it to God and I was alright. The moment he asked that question, it was like a hard scratch on a patched wound, causing pain where I thought there was almost none.

I Was Angry.
Anger was the reason the words wouldn’t have come out right. Anger was the reason I couldn’t have thought up the right words, spoken them with the right tone and/or expressed them with the right body language. Anger was the reason…

Anger is the reason a husband would speak words to his wife, which would cause a problem, or elevate an existing one, choosing to speak his mind and feeling despite the damage it would cause. Anger is the reason a woman would hurl hurtful words at her husband without thinking about or completely damning the consequences.

That day we had an argument that would not have happened if I had refused to let anger take a hold on me, if I had chosen to respond in love instead of trying to state my claim.

Anger is very destructive if it is not put under, I have witnessed the wreckage it has brought to many homes, and many of them didn’t recover.

One Sure Way To Deal With Anger.
To handle it, we must continually fill our hearts with the word of God. The word of God is like water, it washes, renews, transforms and refreshes. It will change our hearts completely and root out all anger.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2

Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. John 17:17

Also, when we fill our hearts with God’s word and allow His love to fill us, when we speak, we will speak the right words at the right time and in the right manner.

Good people do good things because of the good in their hearts. Bad people do bad things because of the evil in their hearts. Your words show what is in your heart. Luke 6:45 (CEV)

  • How do you deal with anger? 
  • How do you stop it from controlling you? 

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About Ugochi Jolomi

Ugochi Jolomi is a Christ-follower, wife to Benson Jolomi and mother to three awesome boys. She is one of God's agent and speaker who loves to read, write and travel. She also loves music, cooking, and helping. Here at Teshuva is where she shares on a variety of practical subjects from everyday life encouraging her readers to live life in the joy and truth that come from knowing God. You can also find her on: Twitter, Facebook, google,

Comments

  1. Anger can def. lead to resentment. So can betrayal of any kind (I’m not talking necessarily about infidelity either). I like that you’ve put the Psalms verse up to refer back to it. I will remember it the next time I’m starting to feel anger or resentment from an old anger.

  2. I really appreciate your vulnerability here, Ugochi. And I resonate with your words because anger is often a problem for me, especially when dealing with my hubby. God and His word has cleansed my heart time and time again. I also pray and seek to develop humility, since it’s hard to be mad when I’m viewing my spouse with the thought that I am just as big of a sinner. Thanks for keeping it real, my friend! And I’ll join you in surrendering that divisive anger over to our Lord!

    • Thanks Beth, sometimes you think you have dealt with it, but a little scratch reveals some more work needs to be done. Thanks to God for His word and His Spirit to help us along the way, and thanks for your prayers.

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