I often hear husbands say “my room” and I have heard wives say in “my room” and I have never understood this; a husband and wife keeping separate bedrooms.
I remember one woman telling me that she is so glad she has her own room, so that when she does not feel up to “it” she locks herself in her room to enjoy some peace and quiet.
Another man says his wife had to have her own room so that she can sleep there when he wants her to, especially when she is on her period, or when he feels like being by himself.
I just do not get it.
Some women say the room is their box room while some say men say it is their study; yet they have beds or mattresses in it and often use it as escape for when they do not want to “see” their spouses.
Box rooms should be used strictly as box rooms, with no puns intended, same thing for rooms used as study.
I believe a husband and wife should have ONE bedroom, no rooms for escape or/and avoidance… When couples have separate bedrooms it makes room for so many things.
– They are tempted to run into their rooms, box rooms or studies when they do not want to talk to their spouses.
– They are tempted to use it as escape from having sexual intimacy with their spouses.
– It really does not encourage dialogue and the much needed communication in marriage.
– It can lead to walls being built when trends like these continue.
– It encourages secrecy, which is very destructive for marriages.
– I believe it is not supportive of the oneness that God intends for a husband and wife.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man (or room) put asunder. Matthew 19:6 Insertion is mine
No matter how wealthy a couple is and how big their house, I do not believe they should subscribe to having separate rooms. It may seem to be okay at first, their intentions might be pure, but we all know how the enemy can utilize every window of opportunity given him.
Neither give place to the devil Ephesians 4: 27
A little suggestion here and a little whispering there, “just walk out and sleep in your study… or “why don’t you leave him and go sleep in your room, if he wants you then let him come begging…” And before long it becomes a regular thing, subtly building up walls, destroying intimacy and tearing couples apart. I have seen this happen, so I can say it is not a good thing.
Do you keep separate rooms in your marriage?
How does it work for you?
Have you experienced the dangers involved?
Is it something you might ever consider doing?
Please share with me and other readers in the comment box.
Copyright© Teshuva 2014
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