8 Ways To Improve Your Marriage - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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8 Ways To Improve Your Marriage

Couple holding hands

8 Ways To Improve Your Marriage

Marriage is one very important part of any couples life. If the marriage does not make any progress from where it is, it affects every other part of the couples’ lives. Anything that does not make progress begins to decline after a while.
Today I want share a very simple post on a list of things I believe every couple should work on improving this year. As I always like to say when making a list, this is by no means exhaustive, I am sure most of you would have other things to add. Let me begin…

Talking to each other about any and every thing should be worked hard on. When there is silence in a marriage it builds a barrier that when given time will become very tangible and destructive too.

Every couple should work on listening attentively to each other, not just listening to the words but to the heart of each other. So many times we listen to the words without trying to understand the heart and the message it is trying to convey.

Couples should work harder on spending both quality and quantity time alone. This has to be intentionally and deliberately planned out. What we do not plan we can hardly achieve. Plan and work on spending time alone together like you used to while courting; dates, story telling, reaffirming love for each other, playing, laughing and doing whatever you like and just having fun all by yourselves.
Spending quality and quantity time is a very strong booster for marriage.

Marriage cannot do any better than the level of trust couples have for each other, husbands and wives should work hard at earning and building trust for each other. Where trust has been broken or lost, it should be brought up, discussed and resolved.
Where there is trust, couples will be completely open to each other without fear of being ridiculed, judged or taken for granted.

Touch is a very important brick among the many that make a healthy marriage. Couples should improve on their touchery. It speaks volumes when you touch your spouse affectionately. I read somewhere that touch improves human interaction and brings out the social side of a person.
Touch should not be limited to sex only, it should become a part of the communication mode in marriages.

Sex is God’s introduction of intimacy on a whole new level and ecstasy for husband and wife; It has both spiritual, physical and health benefits. Some couples’ sex life is great, some not so great, while for some others it is almost non-existent. What ever category it is in, it needs work, to make it good and even better than great.
We all know that sex and the lack of it has been a great tool in the hands of the enemy against many marriages, so couples should take necessary steps to improve their sex lives.

The Word
Reading the word of God individually and as a couple has immeasurable benefits for any marriage; it is the marriage’s lifeline. The word of God contains the guide to life and marriage; lack of the word in any life and marriage is a big minus. The word of God provides health and stability to a marriage and thus cannot be neglected.
Couples should cultivate a regular time for Bible study together.

Praying together should be initiated and improved on in marriage. When you join hands or come together in prayer to God, you excite God’s heart. He sees you as one and delights in hearing your voices as one in prayer. Plus, praying together enhances the spiritual bond between man and wife.

God expects our marriages to go from good to great, great to very great and very great to bliss full…. But we have to work it out with Him.
But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. Proverbs 4:18

These are the thoughts that came to mind as I pondered. What are your own thoughts?
I know you might want to add some thing(s) that you believe couples should work on for a better marriage this year. Go ahead and add in the comment box.

Copyright© Ugochi Oritsejolomisan 2013

Photo Credit: Heron Free


Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Lisa
    Posted at 18:54h, 20 January

    I found my way to your excellent post via Beth’s recommendation on Messy Marriage. I think play deserves it own heading on the list, rather than just part of Time. Whether that takes the form of telling jokes, throwing snowballs, or competing in Scrabble, it is important that couples have fun together. I’m doing the Spouse Dates Challenge 10 Dates in 10 Weeks with my husband. We were discussing the questions that Steve Pare from Spouse Dates suggested last night. One was, “How did you feel loved this past week?” My husband’s answer, “When you threw snowballs at me” was the same as mine! Even after almost 30 yrs. of marriage, we still like to play.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 13:14h, 21 January

      I agree Lisa, play is very key. Including play as a daily and regular will do a lot to improve marriages. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this encouragement, I really do appreciate it. Have a super blessed rest of the week!

  • Pingback:The 7 Biggest Myths of Forgiveness | Messy Marriage
    Posted at 21:17h, 19 January

    […] 8 Ways to Improve Your Marriage by Ugochi Jolomi […]

  • Georges Okouta
    Posted at 21:20h, 15 January

    The marriage you chose will determine whether you will make it to heaven or not. Our arch-enemy the devil is taking advantage of our ignorance to fight many marriages in our time. With this piece of advice I believe many shall be saved from needless pain and confusion that culminate most of the time in ungodly divorce. More grace upon your Ministry daughter of Zion.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 14:30h, 16 January

      Amen sir! Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note. Have a super blessed day!

  • Beth
    Posted at 16:56h, 15 January

    I love the challenges you put before us, Ugochi. These are all such important pieces of the puzzle, and if one is missing, it becomes very obvious over time. I will say that one that my husband and I need to step up is reading God’s Word together. We read it separately and we pray regularly (nearly every day), but we haven’t made time to read the Word together. Thanks for this reminder and thanks so much for adding your link to the WW link up, my friend!

    • Beth
      Posted at 16:57h, 15 January

      I meant, we read the Bible separately and pray together daily (and separately).

      • Ugochi Jolomi
        Posted at 14:28h, 16 January

        You are right Beth, they all are important pieces of the puzzle. Thanks for coming by and as always, I appreciate your visits. Have a super blessed day!

  • unyime-ivy king
    Posted at 10:43h, 14 January

    This is a great piece and much needed for this times when people do not correctly discern what marriage is. Great list you have outlined here, what more can be said? Just to add a little from my 11+ years of marriage, asides the foundation we have of a shared faith in Christ, one of the greatest things we have going for us as a couple is great communication. We can talk about anything and everything and this serves as the lubricant for our friendship. Communication is a live wire for any relationship; once a couple begin to stop talking to/with each other, the relationship begins to deteriorate. Couples should work at improving communication in their marriage and it would amaze them just how much their relationship gets better. My thoughts. Thanks for all your encouraging pieces. More power to your pen, evangelist of good news. May God grant you the grace to rule on this media mountain.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 15:52h, 14 January

      Amen! I totally agree, great friends cannot stop chatting and talking with each other. It certainly is something we ought to work on, it breaks a lot of barriers in our marriages.
      Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this great counsel here, I really appreciate you.
      Have a super blessed day ma!

  • Uje Alfred
    Posted at 06:46h, 14 January

    These are really great tips…am keeping them in my head for when I walk down the aisle…thank you very much sis

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 15:56h, 14 January

      It is great to know ahead! Thanks a lot for coming by, I appreciate your coming by. Have a super blessed day!

  • Vernon
    Posted at 02:32h, 14 January

    I think you covered it all Ugochi! I see that you also included “touch.” A touch says so much sometimes words can’t explain. But if I could add one it would be “flirt.” I love to flirt with Nicole and I love when she flirts with me too! I don’t know if it improves our marriage, but it sure does keep that fire in it! Thanks, I needed to read this.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 16:13h, 14 January

      Lol! We do need to keep the fire in our marriages… and flirting does help.
      Thanks for coming by bro, and leaving this note. Have a super blessed day, and please send my love to your darling Nicole.

  • Kalonda Coleman
    Posted at 14:46h, 13 January

    Hi Ugochi! This is a great list of things for married couples to focus on. Thanks for sharing.
    Many blessings to you 🙂

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 15:16h, 13 January

      Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note Kolanda. Do have a super blessed day!

  • Kim Adams Morgan
    Posted at 15:26h, 13 January

    Love your blog and these are wonderful ways to improve your marriage. Great to “meet” you. Blessings in Christ.

    • Ugochi Jolomi
      Posted at 15:42h, 13 January

      Great to “meet” you too Kim. Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving your thoughts, do have a super blessed day!