No husband or wife wants to fight over his or her wives with anything or anyone. We all want to know that we have our spouses to ourselves; we want to know that we are more important to them than anyone or anything else. We however, maybe without knowing, put our spouses in a competition they did not bargain for.
I’d Rather Be With…
A husband that keeps hearing, “I want to go to my mothers’” all the time from his wife may disregard it in the beginning but if it continues, he will begin to question himself and wonder if his wife is truly satisfied with him.
Like wise when a man keeps running to his parents’ all the time and spending time he hardly spends with his wife over there, he would make his wife uncomfortable at some point.
I Need To Be Nice To…
I sometimes see couples treat others in very special ways that they never get to treat their spouses, not necessarily just the opposite sex, but generally doing things and being things they hardly do or be for their spouses.
That nice voice tone, the concerned look, the check ups, the hospitality they display, and make their spouses wonder why they never get to see that side of their spouse when they are alone or at home
I Need to Give Attention to…
Some people pay more attention to Television, Internet, newspaper, phones, cars and many other things than their spouses and this leaves the spouse feeling like they have to compete with things for their spouse attention. This is not healthy for any marriage.
When a man gives other people the attention his wife never gets from him believing that he is just being nice…
When a woman always chooses to please others above her spouse with the thought that her husband will understand…
It does not go down well, especially when your spouse does not get that from you. When we give our spouses the impression they are in competition with our bosses, colleagues, jobs, parents, siblings, friends, parties, T V, games, or any other, over us, our affection and attention, we cause harm to our marriages.
Your spouse at all times must never wonder whether or not you are top on his or her list, besides God, above your work, parents, siblings and even children. When he or she cannot get the desired attention from you, there is a negative emotion deposited in his or her heart. When your spouse has to ask why you choose to be with friends, colleagues, or T V, instead of him or her, it points to a need you must pay attention to.
Make It Intentional
Some times these things happen unintentionally, we genuinely want to help some one, be nice to someone, read some, and watch some… but marriage should be an intentional relationship. Every couple must intentionally work at making their spouses feel particularly special above every other person or thing. This will build trust and security in their hearts and go a long way to bolster a marriage.
God, The Creator of marriage has called husband and wife one flesh. So like we would care and nourish and treat ourselves, and like we would want to be treated, we should endeavor to intentionally give our spouses that special treatment, attention and affection they demand and deserve.
I will conclude with a scripture I saw again recently. After speaking to husbands and wives by The Spirit of God, the apostle Paul began his conclusion by saying:
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 1 Peter 3: 8
Are you putting your spouse in any kind of competition? Are you competing with something or someone over your spouse? Is there something you can and are doing about it?
© Teshuva 2013
Photo Credit – merledress