Traditionally in the part of Africa where I come from, women are expected to do all the house chores; cook, clean house, do the laundry, perform their sexual duties, mind the children, and all the works.
The men are actually expected to do nothing, except bring in the money, and in some cultures they do nothing at all. After work the men are not supposed to pick a pin in the house, they can sit around and watch TV, even if their wives are crumbling under the weight of running the home, they are not expected to lift a finger of help. The men are not supposed to listen to their wives, they make all the decisions, issue the orders and the wife just does not get involved…
So when they see a man who helps look after the children, cooks some dinner, helps with the laundry, assists in tidying up the house and considers his wife’s opinions in his personal life and home affairs, they call him a “woman wrapper”.
“Woman wrapper” literarily refers to a man who fears his wife and cannot but do her bidding.
Only a strong man helps his wife at home. Only a real man knows that his strength is not for lording over his wife but for protection, supporting and nourishing his wife.
If assisting your wife, and taking care of her, listening to her instead of shouting her down makes people think you a “woman wrapper”, in the eyes of God, you are a true son of His. That is part of what it means to love your wife. 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:25
Now on the flip side, when a woman is careful about discharging her duties as a wife, companion, mother and home maker, some people think she does not have a mind of her own. When she seeks to obey her husband and submit to him as unto God, they say she is just being a dummy. When a woman decides she would stay in the background and rather invest more in her family than get into the workforce she is considered to be without ambition. One woman said to me that she will not hide under her husband’s name, she must go out there and make a name for herself too.
When a woman chooses or agrees with her husband not to work outside the home, but stays home to take care of and be there for her husband and children, spending quality time making her house a home and investing in the very people that matter to her, not that she could not do this if she worked outside, but she chose to stay home because working outside the home would not afford her the adequate time she wanted.
These kinds of women are often looked down upon and considered not smart and dummy wives. Sometimes they are considered to be fools staying or working from home because their husband said so.
The best job any woman can ever take on is investing her life in that of her children. Any woman who yields herself to her husband and submits to him out of love and revenue for God finds a special place in God’s heart. There is no greater ambition to pursue than to build a sound and successful home, raising children that will take their world.
A stay at home mom is no less than a career mom, or business home no matter how many millions they bring home.
It is all a matter of choice and what our dreams and goals are. Whatever good you need to do to build your home to God’s glory is up to you. God has called women homebuilders; we need ample time to do the job effectively. Proverbs 14:1
So for the sake of your tradition (the rules handed down by your forefathers), you have set aside the Word of God [depriving it of force and authority and making it of no effect]. Matthew 15:6 (AMP)
I believe we should do what we should do according to God’s word and not run our marriages and homes according to men’s ideas. What do you think?
© Teshuva 2013
Photo Credit: Spectrums Jewellery