Like in every other relationship, in marriage, husband and wife are meant to share and offer help for one another’s burdens. Any relationship devoid of sharing and caring is meaningless and unhealthy. There are two sides to bearing our spouses burdens; it has to work one way or the other.
Sharing Our Burdens
On one hand we ought to share our troubles with our spouses and ask for help in ways we believe they can help us. So many times leaving them guessing on the reason for our disposition or attitude will do us no good.
Sharing our troubles with our spouses gets it off our chests and unclogs our hearts from any negative emotion that might want to settle when we do not. It is often said that a problem is half solved when it is shared this is especially correct if shared with the right person.
Having someone to share our burdens with is one of the benefits marriage affords us.
It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 MSG
Bearing Their Burdens
On another hand we should bear our spouses burdens, their losses, and their heartaches with them. We also ought to “know” when something is troubling our spouses. When we sense something is not looking quite right about our spouses we should ask to know what it is. We should not carry on as if nothing is wrong and say to ourselves they will come round, or ignore them since they do not want to talk about it. We must also offer help after we know; the help could range from encouragement, to counsel, prayers or simply listening.
Bearing our spouse burden means that when something bothers them it bothers us. When they are in a situation that seems to weigh them down, we are genuinely concerned and we show it, we do something about it, seeking for ways that we can share their burdens by looking for how we can help them.
Sometimes we are tempted to ignore our spouses in their pain or challenges or whatever they are facing because we advised them against something they said or did leading up to the challenge. But wrong cannot correct wrong, only right can. Bearing our spouses burdens no matter the situation is the right thing to do.
See that none of you repays another with evil for evil, but always aim to show kindness and seek to do good to one another and to everybody. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 (AMP)
Even when we think they got themselves into the mess, standing aloof will hurt them even more than the trouble. Knowing that they are not alone will be a serious encouragement and strength to them. Mere knowing we are praying for them because that is all we can do in a particular stance will go a long way in alleviating the pain they feel.
Like I Said earlier, it may not even be a direct involvement, it might be taking the matter to The One who can deliver them from whatever it is they are going through, interceding for them, putting them and the situation in God’s hands.
…and pray for one another…James 5: 16 ESV
Every one will definitely be accountable for their decisions and actions. But in any genuine relationship, in every godly marriage, couples must learn to share their burdens with their spouses and also bear their burdens. That is a true representation of a healthy relationship.
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NKJV
So, how do you and your spouse react to each other’s burdens, or how do you intend for it to be handled in your future marriage?
© Teshuva 2013
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