RUTH AT THE ROOT - Ugochi Oritsejolomisan
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Once I was talking to a group of single men and ladies about the properness of men wooing women. I was advising them to follow God’s order, or they might have to battle with disorder or chaos in their lives and relationships. I know that when a producer leaves instructions on how to handle and maintain his product, it is best to follow the instructions if one must enjoy the best of the product.

Marriage is no different, God is the author and His instructions are written.

I showed them a verse of scripture that advises us to do everything decently and in order. 1 Corinthians 14:40

I also showed them Proverbs 18:22 where God says the man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God.

I drew their attention to the word “finds”.

This tells me the man is to do the finding and the wooing.

I know some ladies and men think it is okay for a girl to walk up to a guy and ask for a date, or even just ask for marriage. In fact the group I was talking to pointed it out to me, that it is common practice now and they wondered why I think it is wrong.

Now, this may seem okay for everyone but not for those who have been called out from the world. Not for Christ followers, our systems are not alike at all, if anything, most times they run in opposite directions.

Well, I went on and on believing that they were understanding and concurring. But the question and answer time informed me otherwise.

One of the young men, with microphone in hand reminded me of the story of a young lady named Ruth.

“I knew Ruth was at the root of all of this!” I thought to myself

He went on to give the house a recap of the events that took place in her (Ruth’s} life and how she practically wooed Boaz; they got married and lived happily ever after without incurring any wrath from God. In fact, they ended up being fore parents of Jesus the Christ. You can read the story of Ruth in the Bible, four chapters after judges named after the main Character Ruth chapters 1-4, a true story.

Let me give a very brief summary: she was a young widow who was very loyal to her mother-in-law and refused to leave her even after her husband’s death. After a while her mother-in-law counsels her to go and lay at the feet of Boaz one night and as a result of her “wooing”, they end up getting married.

I sighed as I saw the excitement on many faces before me; some of curiosities, while some of a presumed opinion win.

But it was all a mistake, a misunderstanding.

Ruth was a widow and according to God’s law in the old covenant, it was customary for a widow to marry her husband kinsman. Deuteronomy 25:5-10

So you see, Ruth’s story cannot be our standard. Naomi would not ask her daughter to go and lie at a man’s feet in order to make him marry her.  It was the only place recorded in scriptures and accepted because under the old covenant it was a law, so it was acceptable for a widow to state this claim.

Men, please be the men, seek, find and woo your would be wife. Ladies hold your tongue and pray for God to direct your would be husband to you, no matter how attracted you are to a man, please keep your dignity and allow it to flow in God’s order. Let your man find you. Lack of order only results in disorder!

Besides, it is only natural; it is inherent in ladies the desire to be sought after…

Or Not so?


Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a mentor, encourager and influencer. She writes to inspire you to live a full life. Ugochi lives in Canada with her husband Benson and their children; Joshua, Joseph and Josiah.

  • Unyime-Ivy King
    Posted at 22:06h, 01 May

    “Now, this may seem okay for everyone but not for those who have been called out from the world. Not for Christ followers, our systems are not alike at all, if anything, most times they run in opposite directions.” Gbam!!!

    The popularly acceptable notion, is not necessarily the right one. God’s word is the acceptable standard for living. Great post Ugochi. A lady needs to be wooed by a man, and not the other way round.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 00:25h, 02 May

      We go with the word sis, with the word!
      Thanks a lot for the encouragement.

  • momto8blog
    Posted at 00:12h, 22 April

    I think if I did not ask my husband out for a date I would still be waiting for him to call me…it’s been over 30 years since that first call.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 00:24h, 02 May

      Oops! Not quite the plan, but you sure didn’t propose?!

  • Lynne Childress
    Posted at 16:01h, 20 April

    Thanks for your post. I was initially going to disagree, because I think that men can sometimes be clueless, and that sometimes it is okay for a woman to express interest in a man. But then I saw the heart of what you were saying, and that a woman needs to feel pursued and wanted to feel valued, and to know that the man who led in courtship will lead in marriage. Thanks!!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 16:20h, 20 April

      Thanks for taking time to read Lynne! I like “A man who led in courtship will lead in marriage”. I appreciate your visit, have a super blessed weekend!

  • Mothering From Scratch
    Posted at 19:30h, 20 April

    {Melinda} Such wonderful, biblical, counter-cultural advice. I try to instill these lessons into my children. It’s hard when the world is so overwhelming in their advice to “go with your heart” and “do what you feel.”

    Thank you for always providing such important scriptural backing in your posts. Love your blog.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 19:53h, 20 April

      I tell you, the world just keeps trying to teach us lies!
      Thanks to God for not leaving us without His advice, and thank you for always being an encouragement.
      Have a bliss full weekend!

  • Katherines Corner
    Posted at 01:15h, 20 April

    lovely, God Bless, Thank you for sharing at the Thursday Favorite Things Hop xo

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 10:55h, 20 April

      My pleasure Kathy!
      Have a super blessed weekend!

  • aloted
    Posted at 19:47h, 19 April

    totally agree with this post…men should do the wooing and hunting…that is how God designed it…Ruth’s case like you said was an exception

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:09h, 19 April

      Glad it made sense to you friend.
      It is indeed God’s design that the lady be “found”
      Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed weekend!

  • Michael philip
    Posted at 20:20h, 19 April

    Woo amazing, thanks for sharing this wit us, you have put more light into my understanding. Remain bless.

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:11h, 19 April

      Amen! I am very glad that you got more light.
      Thanks for coming by Teshuva, I hope you will come by often.
      Do have a super blessed weekend!

  • Meredith
    Posted at 04:12h, 19 April

    I never knew all the “logistics” about Ruth’s “wooing”…so thanks for shedding light on that! The Bible is a tricky thing – it has to be studied. The passages often refer to other parts of the Bible, etc., as you discussed in your post.

    Yes, women DO want to be sought out and desired. Even after we’re married, we want our husbands to “pursue” us (still “date” us).


    • Ugochi
      Posted at 21:07h, 19 April

      The Bible HAS to be studied I agree. Other wise we end up with wrong conclusions.
      I am glad it meant something to you.
      We all (ladies) like to be wooed all our lives. lol..
      Thanks for coming by, have a super blessed weekend!

  • amae guerrero
    Posted at 18:57h, 18 April

    Great post. Good to see another friend in Christ. Together Let’s spread the love of God. God bless you my friend!

    • Ugochi
      Posted at 19:06h, 18 April

      Thanks Amae!
      I appreciate your stopping by. Great to meet you too, have a super blessed day!