6 Ways You Can Avoid Fornication

6 Ways You Can Avoid Fornication

The debate among singles whether fornication is a sin or not is on the increase, especially among those engaged to get married. The Bible is very clear on this matter and this article will not only show it is wrong, but will also help singles know how to avoid fornication.
It would be helpful to those of you who want to keep their marriage bed undefiled, those who want to lay the right foundation for their marriage. Or for those who know someone who does…

1. AGREE IT IS WRONG.
First you must be one whose Lord is God and who takes His word as final authority over your life. You must be one who believes and seeks to obey Him in all your ways. You must be one who is ready to swim against the tide of the world and follow the narrow path of unpopularity of this world we live in. you must be one who believes that if God says not to do it then you would ensure to obey. If this is established then let me show you that God does not approve of pre-marital sex (fornication).

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication. 1 Thessalonians 4:3

But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood… Acts 15: 20

These are just two of many scriptures showing how God wants us to handle our bodies. He lives in us and demands that we should treat our bodies like His temple that it is. You do not own your body!

What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. 1 Corinthians 619-20

2. MAKE IT INCONVENIENT.
I always tell singles and those already in a relationship to make it very inconvenient for them to have sex with their fiancés/fiancées before marriage. Let me explain:
You should visit and meet each other or spend time together in places where it will be impossible for you to commit the act. Visits to each other’s homes, or even friend’s homes where you can be “left alone” can pose a serious threat.
I hear some ladies say they went to cook or clean for their fiancés and I tell those who want to listen that it is not very appropriate for them to do that, there is time for every thing. I might subscribe to you cooking and sending to him but not going over to his house to do it. You should avoid making room for “mistakes” to occur.

…And do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

3. TOUCHES.
One thing to also beware of is touches; yes touches. When you start touching each other, you increase the chances of arousing your sexuality.
And when you continue touching each other so, your defences get weaker and weaker to the point where you will no longer be able to resist the urge to go on and do “it”, this is because the mind is very powerful and thoughts of what could happen with you two will keep playing in your mind.

…And do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27

4. THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES.
Thinking of the consequences of fornication will put godly fear in you, especially if you are a true believer in God and you believe that Jesus can return any moment and will not take you with Him if He finds you in sin. Since no one knows when His return will be, you should live everyday like it is “The Day”.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators,nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind. 1 Corinthians 6:9

5. PRAY.
For it is in prayer you receive wisdom and power to over come all. Prayer causes you to be filled more with God’s Spirit. If you do not pray then you make yourself an easy prey for the devil.
Notice that I put this towards the end, if you pray and leave the above mentioned undone then you are setting yourself up.

Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation… Mark 14:38

6. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Finally on this list, I advise that when face to face with the temptation to commit a sexual sin, instead of conversing with each other or the enemy, you should do one very important thing God recommends: RUN!

Joseph ran for his life and he enjoyed God’s blessing, Samson remained and lost his glory, which would you choose?

Flee fornication… 1 Corinthians 6:18

I pray this helps in ways more than one way, and remember to email or share with a friend or loved one.

Is there anything you would like to add to the list or any thing you would like to share? Please scroll down to the comment box and share your thoughts.

Copyright© Teshuva 2013


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Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a Christ-follower, wife to Benson, mother of 3 awesome boys, God's agent, speaker and blogger. Writing to inspire you for a better life in God! Find her on: google
Ugochi Oritsejolomisan

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271 Comments

  1. Please I totally need your help urgently bcos am dying internally.
    I feel my soul is departing from me. if you can email me or I can I will be happy. Pls Sis am dying. Am Dav

    oppong.david76@gmail.com

  2. Hi Ugochi,
    I came across your post as I have been in search for advice/answers for my long standing issue.
    I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and not long after we first started dating (around 100days or so) we fell into sexual sin and eventually made decisions that had made us regret. During the early times we felt very ashamed and wanted to stop, however, couldn’t. We repeated this cycle for almost 2 years on and off. I have been serving my church as a group leader, and taken up other responsibilities to serve God, but obviously had been living a fake life – as behind the scenes I was sinning against God for my own desires. During this cycle, I cannot say with full confidence, but I feel my boyfriend and I became very tired of repenting and talking through the issue over and over. Which lead us to have hardened hearts to truly repent and turn away from sin. Over those times, I did repent with all my heart but obviously fell away again as it was my weakness – and sometimes I would have the assurance that God would really help us through the issue if we read tried to seek for His grace and wisdom – but another problem was that I always felt I was the only one feeling strongly about ‘repentance’ and seeking what was right in God’s eyes. My boyfriend was brought up in a Christian family, but I believe he has not yet received Christ as his Lord. Hence, I felt it was more difficult at times to talk about the seriousness of the issue and how we should go about keeping away from our weaknesses (sexual sin). Though he wasn’t disrespectful or any kind, I did felt he wasn’t quite on the same boat as me. I had mixed emotions over the two years of hardship, hatred was definitely one and I also unconsiously had been blaming my boyfriend for all that had happened – even though I did admit I was responsible too. But eventually I came to realise and God struck me to repent that what we have done was a deadly to our souls – both mine and my boyfriends – and I have come to a point to repent to God about how I didn’t act wise enough to lead the relationship in a Godly way but how I allowed my desires to drive over me and not only affecting my own soul but how that decision had crushed my boyfriend’s soul too. I felt very bad, almost like I needed to take responsibility in taking my boyfriend’s life to turn to God. So I had a lot of trouble getting through that thought too, because I know that I can’t make one’s life change – but only God can – in the right time and right way. SO- Ever since last year (for about 9months) we have not shared our bodies – although there were a few times where we felt uncomfortable (touching and what not going overboard) – however this also has been a few months- it is a struggle for my bf as he told me once that its hard since we are taking steps backward from what we have done, which I agree. Now, my question is – in a bigger picture – I would like to ask the obvious question – should a couple break up if they have fornicated but have now put a stop to it? – but I know the stop to the action of sexual sin is just a superficial issue – but the core is whether we both repent and come clean in front of God – and by this cleansing, we strive in Godly relationship. I guess I’m having mixed feelings as well as thoughts because I feel my boyfriend is not pursuing the same thing as me – at least not yet(though he is trying – he’s been taking up spiritual workshops at his church recently for his spiritual growthetc.). I know I shouldn’t be persuaded with the thought – if I wait he will change – but that’s not really my question. I’ve started to have less feelings for him as I feel if we continue like this – our marriage won’t glorify God. I know there are consequences to this sin, hence, why our relationship is in struggle many ways because of it. I am thinking of asking my boyfriend if we can take time off for about a month or so – not seeing or contacting each other – and asking for guidance to God whether we should really continue this relationship or not. If it can be restored, i really want God to restore our relationship and head towards the way it pleases him. At the end of the month when we meet again, if we were both assured that God would(?) help us – then we would really take a shot at it and ask God to really lead our relationship and we both make an effort to invite God into our lives – reading the bible together – praying together – attending group bible studies – potentially attending same church under same ministry – etc. But I guess if either one of us feels that its not in it for God – we would go our separate ways for the best of each other.. (At this stage I ‘feel’ God wants me to break up – (because of our past but i do feel my decreased passion for him is a big influence in this feeling)) – but I want to make sure we both agree as well as that I want to be sure (plus im not quite not ready for the breakup). So I’m thinking of sharing this thought and idea to my boyfriend and suggest doing it – I hope you can give me other suggestions if you can or your thoughts on my idea that i just have shared. It was a long post. Thank you so much for putting the time and reading it – I look forward to your comment.

    1. I also want to add that – I did at one point for a long time – felt our relationship was unequally yoked – but i had a lot of hypocrisy in my heart towards my boyfriend – so I had thought lowly of him just because I think he has not truly repented or truly follows the Lord. Then again, who am I to finger out that he is such a person – as I am equally responsible for our actions. I want to stop the blaming – stop feeling guilty over this – stop the hatred on myself and this relationship. I wish my boyfriend would come forward to God – and we both start again – fresh – with God’s grace and mercy of cleansing our sin – working towards a Godly relationship. (Though my love for him has faded- and I know that ‘sparks’ and ‘romance’ is not the true love we should seek as Christians.) I really want to help my boyfriend – as a person and as a girlfriend to become a born again person in Christ. Even if at the end – he chooses to leave me – i think i will feel less guilty knowing that he has turned his life towards God. But most of all I would want to become the Godly man that God would be happy for me to marry. (Am I being a bit selfish in wanting him to become Godly man – so that I can be with knowing that he is truly God’s child?)…..

      Anyways, thank you so much in advance.

      1. Hello J,
        Please I sincerely must apologize for not responding to this mail early. I have been a bit unavailable on my blog for a while.
        Now J, your boy friend is not born again from all indications so you sincerely should not consider him for marriage. He is a creation of God nonetheless and Jesus died for him like for everyone els, but it is not your responsibility to save him.
        You should pray for him as it is a responsibility of all Christians to pray for lost souls, but you should not consider him for marriage. That would be unequal yoking and displeasing to God.
        I know this is hard considering your emotions and all, but you must give up your emotional pleasure in this case so that your soul will be at peace with God.
        When you please God, He will bring His best man for you as husband. Decide to please God at all costs and God will manifest His Blessing to you at all cost.
        I hope this helps you J, please do let me know.

  3. help I v slept with 17 guys including my fiance. I’m about to get married to my fiance but I v cheated on him twice and I feel awful. Please help me out because I feel guilty looking at my fiance face.God please help me

  4. my name is elvis i fear GOD. i want to live holy. i fand it dificult to resist women. wen i told a girl that i can not continue in sin anymore the girl will give me like three days wen she call me after that three days i will still come back ,what will i do to be able to resist women.

  5. Thank you so much, Ugochi for this article, God bless you. I have this problem with lust. My mother’s husband’s sister’s son came to stay with us(my mum’s husband had died before I was born) I wouldn’t say he’s my cousin as my mother was only married to his mother’s brother but my dad is completely different. I never had feelings for him but lately, I began lusting after him. I’ve been having affairs with him (no penetration though) and I feel most guilty about it. I would decide never to do so again but after some time, I’d find myself in it. I don’t know what to do, whether it’s necessary to tell my family about my affair with the guy or just quit everything and not telling them. I feel like the worst person on earth and a very big disappointment to God. Please I need reply. What do I do please

    1. Right now, what matters is that you stop sexual sin with this person. If telling your family will help, then go ahead. The most important thing is that you apply everything written in this article, if you do so with a genuine heart of repentance and change, you will rise above sin.
      God’s grace is available to help you Chinaza!
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

      1. Alright thank you! God bless you for me and keep touching lives, your reward is in heaven

  6. Is masturbation fornication

    1. Yes it is, all sexual perversions are sin.

      1. I was filled with the holy spirit last month and I masturbated a couple times after but repented. It doesn’t happen often in between months. But I really want to over come this. I know God wants to use me mightily! Will this stop my spiritual Growth?? Will it kill the holy spirit in me??? I stay grounded in the word and prayer. Church every Sunday. I’m serious about my walk with God. I just slipped a few times. Need answers please!!!

        1. Sin always hinders spiritual growth. Sin quenches The Holy Spirit in a man.
          But if you genuinely repent God forgives and if you commit to stay Holy, He will be there to help you.
          Work on your prayer and study life, slips always come in when we neglect these two things.

      2. Is watching porn a sin

        1. Yes it is! You are exposing yourself to the demon of lust.

        2. It is sin! Watching porn brings lust and lust is sin.

  7. Hi! This is very helpful! But I need further advise. Can you please email me asap??? GB!!

    1. Just sent you a mail.

      1. Please could u tell me how do I know if I’m a fornicator or not what exactly leads to fornication n please help me to overcome all my difficulties in life

        1. Engaging in sexual activities with someone who is not your wife or husband is fornication. As for what leads to fornication; lust is the culprit, the sinful desire in the flesh.
          If you read the post carefully, you discover how you can avoid and overcome fornication.

          1. Thank you so much for answering my doubts 🙂

          2. I just need more posts on this message

        2. Read above

  8. Hello sister Ugochi (sister in Christ)

    My name is Rebekah and I am 19 years old. I would first like to say thank you for your tips, they are really helpful. I love God so much and I really want to do His will but every now and then I get myself involved in fornication.I haven’t actually done it but the touching and feeling is still a sin. I dated this guy when I was 17 and he broke up with me for another. It was during that relationship that I broke my promise of never allowing another man to see my naked body. I felt very distant from God and I prayed that God would end the relationship and I believed that He actually answered my prayer. Anyways, to cut the ling story short, my relationship with Christ was going well but then his gf broke up with him. I ended up helping him to get through the heartache and got myself involved in another round of fornication. It’s been like this all the time. Like I would make up my mind to not see him but every now and then, it’ll happen again. Right now I feel like such a horrible person because God has done so much for me and I always let Him down. I know that I am such a disappointment to God because I give into temptation so easily. I am scared that one of this days God is not going to forgive me.
    Please, my request is that you pray for me. Pray that God will give me strength to stop going back to this guy and focus on God. I want to be pure and I only want my husband to take my virginity. I know that you don’t know me but God can hear your prayers. God bless you and thank you once again.

    1. I will pray for you Rebekah, but you must do your part and see grace work for you. Follow all the steps listed on the blog and you are sure to have victory over fornication and temptations.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

    2. First thing is recognizing that you are doing something wrong. You cannot correct something if you don’t think there is anything wrong. So if you are searching for help that means you’ve made the first step. Next is to repent, repent means to turn the other direction. If you were fornication you decide that’s it! No more! God knows you cannot do this on your own. This is spiritual. You are a spiritual being as God is spiritual, we were made in his image and likeness. Ephisians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms…you cannot come against spiritual things with a carnal mind and. Carnal weapons. Our weapons is prayer, fasting, reading the word and attending a church. The only way to overcome is by the renewing of your mind (the word). If it’s something I learn is you cannot fight something of the flesh if you are in the flesh. If you are in the flesh, you desire the things of the flesh. If you feed you spirit (in prayer, fasting, reading the word of God, going to church to receive and renew your mind) then you are feeding your spirit. As we feed the spirit more it dominates the flesh. crucify the flesh daily!! I’m not saying you won’t have thoughts or be tempted, but when you are God will give you the strength. Seek Him.

  9. Hello, I’m Shack from No Excuses Ministries, I was doing a flyer on fornication and I ran into your blog can you, please send me a pdf of this blog for I can apply it to my site please Thank you

    1. Thanks a lot for the gesture. Please can you inbox me a little about what your blog does.
      I visited but need some more information.

  10. Hi
    I really really need ur hlp, so pls email me

    1. Okay Cobby.

  11. I keep telling God that I won’t do it again, but I can’t control it 🙁 I know it’s wrong. I know it doesn’t please God. I don’t know what to do anymore. I need God more than He needs me, I acknowledge that. I just wish I could control myself. I’m tired of lying, cheating on God.

    1. You can control yourself Mariana, if you read the word of God on fornication and constantly think about them and also pray those words into your heart, you will be on your way to your deliverance. Also, follow the steps you read here carefully and you will discover your victory over fornication.
      God’s grace!

    2. Stop beating ur self up! Your guilt causes u to sin more! GOD has forgiven u for all ur sins passed present and future! The more u know he loves u the less u will sin! :)) his grace ……

      1. God’s grace is available and it abounds, but we shall not continue in sin because our ‘future sins’ are taken care of.

  12. I wish it was that easy,. I wish life is as easy as writing
    Nice article tho, but its so easy, CU’s I’m ain’t seeing any similar experience,.have you ever been in any critical situation where the level of your sexual hormones is making decisions so rapidly? I’ll been there and ma, I got confused. The best thing I’ll pray for is, GOD SHOULD DIRECT MY STEP THROUGHOUT TODAY,LET ME NOT BE IN A CRITICAL STAGE OF LIFE THAT MAKES YOU ANGRY. that’s all.

    1. Your sexual hormones can be put under control. When you say yes, God will open your eyes to the help He has provided.
      You can win this bro!
      Have a super blessed weekend!

  13. Please admin. I think I need help.
    Email me.

  14. Thank you ma for this wonderful site! I am getting to loving it the more each time l get to read any of your articles. God bless you more! My life personally is in need of a Help right now & l trust God to show me mercy once more… I sent you a mail ma.

  15. I am confused. I know the right thing to do but I don’t know why I get scared to take a step. I have lived with my with my boyfriend for over a year. I just graduated from the University. When I met him, I lost interest in the things of God.I even stopped going to Church bcos I knew that cohabitation is wrong for a Christian. Late last year, I started thinking about my life and eternity. I knew that I had a straight ticket to hell. He doesn’t believe that we are fornicating. He doesn’t like to hear that word. I made a decision to leave him and start a new relationship with Christ Jesus. But I am scared of one thing, people know us together. I am afraid of what they would say. There are girls waiting to take my place in his life but that is not my fear, my other fear is how many men are willing to abstain from sex outside marriage?

    1. Forget about wah pple say .Christ in you your hope of glory

    2. I greet my able admin..
      Hello Mercy…
      Be afraid for your own life foremost…the truth is God will by one or more means warn those men out there..please do not be sober for what will not profit you dear,be happy to abstain from evil!the best is always for the best…the bible says (if ye know what is right and do it not,ye have sin)…so cheer up,if u need a boyfriend or spouse,go for the one who your value more than a sex patner..see it is obvious that most girls end up not marrying the one the open up their privacy to or serve..so be strong if you want to make God proud.,its never too late now to go on your knee and ask God for mercy(its now or never)..i thank God you can see the future of iniquity…thank you for going back to God…rejoice i say rejoice

  16. i greet my able Admin…….
    @Emmanuel Nnaemeka, times are not always thesame for everyone…what i would love you to do is pray for good and holy friendship….i remember when i was still just 18-19yrs i came to an understanding that what will really call love is different from what was exhibit…the question was how do i know am not lost,huh…i found out that most time 90% of teen and youth go into relationship because of selfish and harmful desires…..ask yourself why you are in that relationship?if i have a way to s

  17. With all due respect to my able Admin,i saluate……my dear friends,
    if you have take time to notice,you will notice that fornication is one most dangerous act…a man left for desert cause of temptation of fornication,but to his surpise he still felt strongly that hurge while there.so he noted it…..the only cure to that spirit is Gods word and his fear(remind yourself his wrath),when it comes tell your what God wants and what is word say(for am renew in the image of chirst),keep saying it till you forge

    1. Hi Sir Í am girl of 30 I have a problem with fornication,we dated when i was not born again and we have a child together but now I am born again and we are still in a relationship,I want to stop it but I can’t,and I can’t marry him cause he is q Moslem.please help,I am really not comfertable with this,every time I meditate on the Word óf God and declare that I am the righteousness óf God in Christ Jesus but I’m still not comfertable.

      1. i humbly respect my able Admin………Akhona

        sorry to say…what made you think he is interested in you or your religion?….what is your own view on the baby?…..what have both of you decided to do…?…………….

        Dear u need to understand that our mistake can only be corrected by excellence,you making decision regarding what made u err against God is a very vital issue to carefully and watchfully sort out..i will plead with you to sit and prayerfully annalyse things…….

        If i am to be truthful to you:God wants us to balance our action know fully its do and dot…He wants us to be wise in serving him cause;satan is looking for a way to affect the believers with foolish ideas which the bible says end in destruction…..what you think matters aloyt and hes response matters alot

        1. Amen thank you Sir,I am praying every day about it,and I know my God is gonna help me. Thanks a lot that was wise response indeed.

          1. Hi Akhona. ..I belive God will direct you as you pout your heart out to our Father. I’m sincerely concerned about your child. I believe you would like to nurture your child in the way of the Lord. May God grant you His grace.

  18. I am engaged with a guy it has been 8 month but we try to ignore our attraction, fornication but we are not able to do it so it has been few weeks we have been in distance which have help us lot.Do fornication will lead to hell if we repent of our sin does it be forgiven by god or not?

    1. Dear Binu,
      It is a good thing you have acknowledged your wrong, that is a great step towards God.
      Fornication does lead to hell:

      Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind… 1 Corinthians 6:9

      If you ask God for forgiveness from a genuine heart and make up your minds to do whatever it takes not to sin again, He will forgive you.

      If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

      Stay free from sin Binu, you can as God has given you the grace!

  19. surely dis article is very helpful if you can follow it. pls Admin am confused about my relationship and I need advice pls email me @ ubjonath@gmail.com
    thank you

    1. Hi Jonathan,
      I Just sent a mail!

  20. help please. Av been in a relationship. wev been fornicating a lot n av been looking 4wad to stopping. I go to confession , seek spiritual guidance but situations cme I find myself sinning. I called for a breakup but that never stopped us from fornicating. am helpless and wonder how God sees me…guilt, darkness n great fear of what really my life is.

    1. I am going through the same thing i try prevent other sins , do good but find it hatd to stop fornicating especially when i get sexually aroused

  21. Thank you for the great work. The number of comments tells us how people are battling with this stronghold. I want to add on to the list of suggestions. If you have the opportunity to live with parents, family or friends (Christian friends) do not hesitate. Living alone is a sign of maturity but it comes with its own temptations.

    1. Great tips Akua! Many thanks!

    2. Wow! I’m superb about ur post ma. Thank u very much for ur word of inspiration. God almighty will bless u and ur household. And most especially may God give us all d willing heart to serve Him. Amen

      1. Praise God Freda! I am so glad it blessed you so.
        Have a super blessed weekend!
        Love

  22. Hi, I am a single lady of 26yrs. I have dated a total of 5 guys since I was 19 yrs and I have slept with all of them. I love having sex but I know it’s wrong and I feel guilty after each act. Every time I have the urge, I watch porn and masturbate. Am dating a guy at the moment and we are fornicating, am scared that if I stop he will leave me. I know God is not happy with what am doing. Please how do i stop. How do i stop having these urges.

    1. please i beg of you stop at once..when its come to adultery or any thing sex,it will take more than confession,it need your right stand ,you need to sit and ask yourself the gain or how it all have affected your life for good…men will troop in for any woman but not for her ugly side..am not trying to tell you its going to be easy,it would not.but you need to know thats what defines you (and truly who are you)….sit and look your past ,present and future tell me who will you be?

  23. PLS spying at a girl in d bathroom IS IT fornication..?

    1. Lust is a sin. Besides, when you think it, Jesus said it is as bad as doing it.

      1. Admin, I need help on how to. Avoid. The sin of fornication always want to have sex all time, and each time I make. Up. My mind not to temptations. Keep. On. Coming. I need help. Thanks

        1. Dear Francis,
          If you dilligently read and observe the suggestions on this article, you will be on your way to winninf the battle over fornication. If there is something more you would want to discuss, please send me a private mail at teshuva7@gmail.com
          God bless and keep you!

  24. I do have one man who always give me money but want to have sex with me, some time I will avoid him completely but due to one reason or the other I will go back now I really want to be completely surrender to Christ how will I avoid him? because I have even told him I want to work for God he should continue helping me I will pay him back wen I have he was not happy over it. please advice me.

    1. Hello Mary,
      You do not have to sell your body to any man to make money. There are millions of ways you can make money without sinning against God.
      Any man or thing that will make you anger God wants to destroy you. You must flee from that man and never go any where near him again.
      Send me a mail at teshuva7@gmail.com so we can talk some more.

      1. Hello Mary, at one time of my life I been there right where you are. The bible say that we all have sin and come short. Understand it takes a well made up mind to serve the Lord. Whether you’re relationship was for the money or just wanted to be loved. Sometimes we as women missed a lot growing up especially if it was no Father in the home and that may not have been your case but never the less God want us to live a life that is pleasing to Him and so does the devil
        God says that he that comes unto me I will no other wise cast him out God will give you the ability to resist the devil. He know that we can’t do it by ourselves when you pray and tell God I need your help and help me because I can’t help myself and God if you don’t help me um gonna mess up He then comes in to your aid and gives you what you need because he knows your heart. God will help

  25. I really find your post here very helpful. I am a 43 year old woman who has been saved for some years now. I long to be married but as I grow older I am not confident that I will be blessed to get married and so I have been in relationships where I have fornicated because I don’t want to be alone and I desire companionship. I don’t want to be alone and every time I tell someone I am celibate they leave and then I am alone again. I want to obey God, but I want marriage too and I feel like I am too old now to get it.

    1. I understand the need for you to have companionship but sacrificing your relationship with God and eternity with Him for your emotions and feelings would be the biggest mistake anyone could make.
      If you make up your mind to stay away from such men and honour God with your body, He will send His man your way. The one who would lead you in obedience to God’s word, the one who will love you like He(God) does.
      You can email me at teshuva7@gmail.com so we can talk come more.

  26. Hello ugochi please I have some little problem with me dat make me to be nervous dat can God forgive me again, couple of years ago I gave my life christ but nothing changes in my life. I do fornication everyday on Sunday I will still go to church to give my life to christ. But my fornication is not dat I slept with a girl but I do watched porn movie on Internet and I will masturbate.

    1. I am glad you know that what you do is wrong and desire to stop. God’s grace is available and He has given you power to overcome every sin.
      If you follow the article you will be able to undo that desire and replace it with the desire and power to overcome.
      Will talk to you some more.

      1. Thank you I needed to see this it is good to know that I’m not the only one who suffers with this I will follow those instruction and take advantage thank you

        1. God’s grace is available! Stand strong!

  27. Brethren We Should Be Careful With The Devil After Confessing Jesus Christ. Be Ready To Say “NO” To Any Past Sexual Relationship(s) Because “…The Old Has Gone And The New Has Come”.When I Came To Know Christ And Understanding 2 Cor 5:17 As I Quoted, It Didn’t Cost Me Anything To Say “NO” To A Girl I Wanted To Marry And We Loved Each Other Very Much. But Did That Relationship Begin In Christ? Certainly “NOT”. There Was Need To Be Completely Renewed. So When You Have Said YES To Jesus, Get Rid Of Your Old Self Completely And Swiftly. You Can If You “WILL”. And Please Watch Out For Your Old Relationships Because They Are Potential Traps Of The Enemy For You. Some Will Pretend That They Have Repented Just To Get You. And “If After They Have Escape The Pollutions Of This World…And Are Again Entangled There In, The End Will Be Worse For Them..” 2 Peter 2:20. You Can Only Win This Race By Fighting It With The Sword Which Is The Word Of God, Read It And Meditate On It.Please RUN For Your Dear Life(Eternal)

  28. Hi..im a 17 yr old christian and my boyfriend and i fornicate a lot but we are trying to stop. I feel inspired by what you wrote but my fear is tht it might be too late. I missed my period and thnk i may be pregnant. Need advice plz. What should i do?

    1. Hello Sharee,
      First, it is not too late to stop. The enemy might be telling you to keep on fornication, you might be pregnant after all. Don’t listen to him. God is watching to sèe your next move and a move towards obedience would be the best for you.
      Second, go for a pregnancy test to confirm if you are truly pregnant.
      Third, if you are DON’T KILL YOUR BABY! Seek support…
      Please email me at teshuva7@gmail.com so we can talk some more.

  29. Hello admin. Plz i really need ur help i feel am finish. I hate havin sex but i find my self doin it i give my life 2 christ every day but still find my self goin back after a period of time. Plz help me am loosing my destiny. Plz i dnt knw wer 2 start from plz help me am supposed 2 be in my finar year now in medical school but, dis has been my set back plz help me. Can i still go 2 medical school? Plz u can text me plz i really need ur advice. My spiritual life is really goin down. Plz dis is my number u can send it. 09051805535. Plz

    1. I have called your line several times but it won’t go through.

  30. please I am a guy found my self in many adultery and at dis present time I av a very serious relationship but I am having numerous gfs which av committed adultery with now I want to leave them all and concentrate on my relationship, I never touch my fiance we had nothing together ,we hardly spend stone togeda, please advise me how can I go about it? how will I tell the other girls I am of Christ now we can’t be together again? please I really love God and like seriously a worker in d vineyard of God… please I want to work for God the more, advise me please…. thank you will b waiting for your reply

    1. You know Eben, your life depends solely on the choices you make from now on. Thank God you have made the choice to follow Christ, your past is past but your future now depends on the choices you make from now on.
      As for how you will tell the other girls… first tell the one you are presently with that you had so many girls but have nothing to do with them anymore. Then go ahead and call all the other girls one after the other and let them know that you are now in Christ and do not wish to continue sinning and offending God.
      Now it is not easy, but it is something You MUST do and immediately too.
      God will help you as you make up your mind to live for Him only.

  31. hello admin,
    I have dated a lot of guys but only had sex with one in 2013, but I broke up with him 15months ago because I don’t want to continue fornicating. The point now is even after I broke up I still kissed two guys whom I wasn’t dating. I want to be a changed person but I easily have feeling for guys. I clocked 20 this month and I really want to start a new life. Please advice me and is there still hope for me to meet a good man? please reply

    1. Hello Aderonke,
      First of all, YES, there is plenty of hope for you to meet a great man.
      Firs things first, you must accept Christ as your Lord and Master, you must submit your will completely to Him. Only The Blood of Jesus can cleanse and change any person.
      Please email me at teshuva7@gmail.com so that we can talk some more.

  32. Hello Ugochi,
    thanks for this wonderful topic. I laid back again after i promised God still i get married.for over 14 years of my teenage life has being trapped in this. i decided to not do this again when i got into the university. And since then,i did not for over 5 years. Now i fell,i have asked God for forgiveness. Please i need scriptures and studies in the bible to stay in God. He loves and he wants to use me.please help me. Thank you ma for your soon response.

    1. Dear Olohi,
      If you meditate on the scriptures I have shared in the post, you will overcome. If you follow the advice given as well, you will overcome. God is on your side and He is able to keep you!

      Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, Jude Verse 24

  33. Dear Ugochi

    i am in a relationship of 3 years 6 moths,when i met this guy,i was a prayerful person, stayed a year with him without fornicating,after that i felt m making him suffer for what he does not believe in,so i gave in,we started fornicating,he was not a christian at the time and he was drinking. but in my fornicating, i prayed so hard, i prayed for him to change, bt it seemed my prayers were not being answered. and i stopped praying for him,bt instead i prayed to God to make my heart hate him,so as to make it easy for me to leave him because i really loved him bt i knew if he ws to get btwn me and God then he is not worth it so i ws silently working on how i ws gonna leave him, one day i invited to an all night prayer,it ws good he enjoyed,bt he still went back to beer(i ws stil praying my dangerous Prayer for leaving),i kept on inviting him till he came to me and told me he wants to leave sex,leave beer and give his life to Christ…that was after another year. Write now we both struggling to stay pure,we can stay a few months without fornicating bt we always go back to it…we always praying and asking for forgiveness from God,it almost feels we deceiving Him,sometimes i cnt pray thnking i am not even worthy to call Him “Father”…I hate sin!!

    1. My sister,
      I sincerely think you need to run away from anything that keeps you away from God. It sounds hard but you know, God gives us our will to choose between Him and any other person or thing.
      I pray you understand and choose to depend on God’s grace as you make the right choice.

  34. Hello, Ugochi!

    What a wonderful piece you’ve shared with your readers/followers. May God continue to give your more knowledge to convey those that seek Him, in Jesus’ name. Amen! Well, I remain immensely grateful to God for the power He gave me to resist fornication some three years ago, though the temptation keeps coming – but there’s always an escape route. Praise God! However, I’m burdened in my heart at the moment about a young lady in her twenties, a member of my church, whom I fell in love with. Ugochi, judging by human perceptions she’s so fit for a wife. We do love each other and we hope to get married some day, if God wills. But, I realised that I made a mistake at some point when I hurriedly told the lovely girl that I would love to marry her even before the awareness of my pastor and having not prayed well enough. I admit that ill step, sir. Afterwards, when this information came to him (my pastor) he was so disappointed in me and said that I drifted. I went and apologized to him, confessing that I had been waiting for the right time to tell him about the relationship.
    But, in the process of counseling me, he raised an issue about the girl which I found so worrisome and ‘unfair’. But, before my conversation with him I’ve had a couple of contrasting dreams about the girl. In one of them, I found her in my room with cheery smile on my face and I shifted on my bed for her to lie beside me. On the other ones, we had misunderstanding and when I asked her to come so that we would make peace she was reluctant; and in the latest one I saw her adorned in white gown (like a wedding gown) coming towards me, but she walked past me without showing any sign of familiarity. Really, I believe that dreams should never be taken lightly whether they seem good or bad, and I understand that their are familiar spirits which the devil deploys to deceive and put man in a state of perplexity. But my concern here is about what my pastor said about the girl’s spiritual identity. He first asked me how much I knew about the girl and I incoherently answered him what I can’t even remember. Then he said that the spirit of fornication trails the girl. I mean, I didn’t quite get that. Ugochi, this girl and I took it upon ourselves to seek God with our whole hearts believing that whatever beautiful love we share can only be protected and preserved by God, coupled with many other things we aspire to do for God as our worship unto Him for the rest of our lives. Also, we declined from sexual intercourse because we want God to have good basis for bringing us together and we have some measure of fear for God. I’m sobbing as I’m sharing this story of my live with you. We are so fond of each other! When she sees me, she shows an infallible joy by the beautiful smile that reflects on her face as if I’m her world. Indeed, she’s beautiful even on the inside, by my evaluation. When I had no cloths she bought some for me. We fast (even dry) and pray together. We keep encouraging each other with kind words and positivity. I love her so much! We flood our WhatApp with beautiful words, like no man’s business. We always make out time to keep our communication waxing. Any time we sense that we are becoming so encumbered to each other, we would agreeably separate and seek God. We keep reiterating every now and then how much we need God in our lives, and that kind of keeps us together. Honestly, I have quite a lot to say about us but I feel that I’ve bugged you already with my over worded story. Please, kindly advice me on this as the spirit of the Lord directs you – God bless you!

    1. I’ll inbox you Nonso.

      1. Hi, Ugochi! I’m pleased that you acknowledged my comment – thank you! But, I’ve been having some challenge trying to login to my account. So, I want to give you an alternative e-mail address to write me: nonnynwang@yahoo.com; it similar to the previous one and so unique to me….hahaha! About my story, I have quite a lot to discuss with you because many things are springing up and they seem to be tilting to our (my beloved and I’s) favour. However, I would love it to read your first reply on the first version of my story (which already know about) and then I’ll brief you on subsequent events for further counselling, and this time in confidence. And quickly I want to apologize for any inconvenience you will go through repeating your reply but this time to my new e-mail address. I believe that our heavenly Father is sustaining you and your beloved family; thanks, once again.

      2. Ma, I believe when a question is asked it is most likely something not peculiar to the asker as the Ans you share can help a thousands of others.

        Not asking for mails not to be sent. Just believe that an Ans should be given for d sake of the general readers.

        God bless you ma

  35. I am in a complicated relationship with this guy I love and he loves me too but I want to stop fornicatinf with him. When he is not around am able to stay of sex but when he comes around I fall. I feel breaking up with him will help me stop but am scared to break it off.

    1. I believe that anything or person that will hinder your relationship with God should not be tolerated. This may sound rude but it is the truth. Do not be scared, God will heal you and bring you to the man He has prepared for you.
      Obeying God will always position you for favour.

  36. It’s very helpful for me

    1. Praise God!

  37. heylloo everyone. pls I seriously need help. I was raped as a child and never mentioned it to anyone till now. it’s been affectionately me greatly. I don’t have any feelings having sex, even it’s just to please the man in question. it really meant nothing to me since I considered the most important moments ‘virginity’ being taken away without me even being able to recall. I really need my conscience back. I also have a fiance now we had known each other for about 4yrs before he proposed. we used to have sex once in a while. but since he proposed and I became a ‘born again’, I have come to take the decision of no sex till marriage. it troubles my mind all the time coz now know it’s wrong to have sex before marriage. confused if I should abstain and go on or cancel the proposal,

    1. My dear, my opinion though…
      I think you should abstain totally and move on with the relationship but if your man insist on the sex then let him go. Because its just gonna continue to be one sin upon another.

  38. Hello Dear,
    I am struggling with fornication and it is causing a great despair in my life. I am a Christian who takes delight in worshipping the Lord. I live with my parents and I was able to stay pure in life until they brought in a lady from my hometown to stay with us. She has been so tempting and I have been falling for her even though I pray that I will be able to resist temptations but I still fall. I know I have tried so much to flee from fornication, I pray for forgiveness of the sin so often that I think God is pissed off with me. Why should I be committing the same sin repeatedly and be asking for forgiveness all the time. Please I need your advise, I find it difficult to pray now since it seems I’m deceiving God. Sometimes I fast for forgiveness of sins but I get caught into the same trap immediately I break the fast. Now I am confounded, I do not know what next to do

    1. Hello Gyan, I just want u to know and understand that God does not get pissed up with us any longer after Jesus has borne all our sins and condemnation on the cross of calvary, Jesus has brought us abundant Grace..despite our sinfulness, God still so much loves us and care about us though He hates sin. He has exhausted all His anger on d body of Jesus Christ on the Cross. Get closer to God with faith in d Grace of Jesus and believe that you are the righteousness of God through Jesus Christ. God Bless You.

      1. victor I love ur answer.be blessed.no matter our weakness we re still the righteousness of God through Christ.once we know it it ll be easy for us to stand firm.

    2. Victor has answered well, but I just want to state this that SEX is for Marriage and Marriage is for Sex. Therefore, in addition to all the scriptural passages quoted I need us to see and understand 1 Corinthians 6:18 FLEE FORNICATION………………
      Sex outside marriage does not understand any language. The only method to handle it, is to take a drastic step of FLEEING! Joseph applied it. Stop trying, talking, tonguing, casting out, binding etc. FLEE!

  39. Dear Ugochi, Thank you so much for this your post. I am one lady who loves God but then I am in a relationship that I was involved in fornication once with the guy and I fought with my conscience through that period and asked God for forgiveness. I tried to explain to him how I will not want to ever commit fornication again and he says it will be very difficult for him but he will try. What do you advise I do, should I hold on to this relationship or do I RUN?

    1. RUN, RUN, RUN!!!

  40. Sometimes I feel like what am doing is wrong and want to quit fornication…but then I feel like I will lose him to someone else.He argues about fornication and feels that it is right to do it though I know that it really affects him.and his commitment to church is very weak since we decided to engage in fornication. We’ve known each other for over three years now…please help
    Waiting for your reply soon
    Mev

    1. Hello Mev,
      There are times in our lives when we have to make tough decisions. This one of those times. You must choose what is more important to you, keeping this man or losing God and heaven.
      When you choose God above all, He will give you His best man, one that loves Him and lead you to obey Him.
      Any man who encourages you to sin and offend God does not love you. And he definitely does not love God too. Plus, you should have nothing to do with such a man.
      I know your emotions are all entangled and you feel like you cannot live without him. The devil sells lies to us and our feelings are many times contrary to God’s words.
      But I promise you, living in peace with God will bring you great joy, peace and satisfaction.
      It is not easy Mev, but you can do it… I can help walk you through it.

      Please if you need to talk further, send me a direct mail @ teshuva7@gmail.com

  41. I love it and l
    I have learnt a lot from it
    thank you very much

    1. Praise God Daniel! I am so glad you learnt a lot.
      Have a super blessed day!

  42. I am a girl of 28 years, I don’t know a boyfriend but guys I consider my friends all want to sleep with. Most of them makes it feel it they are in love and care and is ok. I really want to stop but the only solution is to let them all go and am scared to be alone with no one around. What do I do

    1. Naa, I understand your fears. But I know it is better to be alone with God than to have friends and be with the enemy.
      Let them all go and make friends with God. God will will send you godly and genuine friends.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

    2. good morning to you all. God bless the author of this article in Jesus name. please I would like you to email me @Ugochi Jolomi because I want you to come teach some teenagers about fornication, you can email me::

      @felixpius2015@Gmail.com and please email me @Amaa

      1. God bless you bro. Please contact me at teshuva7@gmail.com
        God bless!

  43. pls, help me out I used to fornicate once in a while. I ve been battling with this, and each time I do it, i filled perplex and I fill something ve been taking away from me. pls, people of God what can I do?

    1. Hello Goodness,
      If you follow the steps you have read, God’s grace will enable you.

  44. I have a boyfriend, he doesn’t stay in Nigeria, and while he was around, we have sex, but now his not around, he want me send him pictures of my body, this I do before, but now I think my conscience is telling me it’s wrong, is it really?

    1. It is wrong. There are things that are not decent and this is one of them. It is pornography and pornography is wrong. Both of you ought to wait till after marriage to see eachother’s “bodies” and when it is that time it will not have to be over the WEB or any form of social media.
      Plus, fornication is not approved by God as you have read, so I strongly counsel that love for God and desire to please Him should compel both of you to stop.
      I will keep you in my prayers Funmi, nothing is impossible with God.

  45. am 19 and have been into a relationship since last 2yrs during my s.s.c.e, to be frank i have never indulged in sexual immorality ever since then,now friends are influencing me seriously and i have fallen a victim of the principle “do not touch”cos i d’huge her these days and that have polluted my thoughts a little bit though sex haven’t come into play i feel guilty…….especially when i kissed her just because we were positioned in an isolated area.
    I explained things to her and she got me right,should i quit the relationship Or continue in abstinence? i dont want to offend God sexually,please help me with an advise

  46. wen i think am alone .is when i always have this challenges.she always come.even uninvited.hw can i chase her .cause i can hold my self wen she is around.i dont want to offend her.pray and advice me

  47. I let myself go recently multiple times. I feel like I am a disgrace and now fearful that I have ruined my future. I know that Jesus will forgive me, but the acts that I committed cannot be erased from my memory. I am full of regret and worry. It crosses my mind everyday, the acts that I had committed with the people that I did them with. I am now trying to grow my bond with the lord and Jesus Christ and make sure that I repent from all future temptation. I want to thank you for this article. You are a blessing to the internet and the world.

    1. If you have asked God for forgiveness He has forgiven you but you must now forgive yourself. Guilt can hinder you from your relationship with God. If you carry on like this then it means you do not believe God’s word on forgiveness.
      You should read the article on How to stop fornication so that you live free of this sin. If you follow the steps written in this on and that one you will be equipped to fight and win fornication.
      You can win this!

  48. hi. i’m 19, and i have technically lost my virginity to my boyfriend (without penetration, but i guess we have done every other thing). the guilt of this has plagued me because it happened twice, even when i thought i could stop it. he is a student pastor, and he intends to go on to bible school after graduating this year, but with the situation of things, he is very down spiritually. i dont know how to forgive myself or him, i feel i’m trapped in this relatnship cos i dnt wnt 2 eva share my body with any oda man. i love my boyfriend. please what do i do?

    1. Hello Foly,
      I am glad that you yielded to The Holy Spirit’s promptings. If you follow everything you have read, you will be equipped to never fall for fornication again. Refuse guilt, if you have asked for forgiveness then God has forgiven you. You are nineteen with so much ahead of you to achieve, I suggest you focus on your education so that you will not live a mediocre life.
      You are not trapped in this relationship Foly, true love will always do the things that please God only.
      Read your Bible and never cease talking to God, and make up your mind that you will, and can live free of sexual sin.
      You can win this!

  49. M afraid now, thinking av lost everything cus of my act of fornication, is there any way I can regain back my glory?

    1. God is a forgiving God and a restorer too.
      Ask for mersy and start building your faith and life against fornication and as you take those steps God will back you and he will restore your joy of salvation and all that the enemy has stolen.

    2. Happy tO find this today
      so inspiring n touching
      may the Blessing of God never
      seize flowing in your family ma
      God bless you

      1. Amen!

  50. Nice write up….keep up the good work and may God richly bless u

    1. Prasie God!

  51. Thanks a million admin.

    1. Praise God!

  52. I feel like I’m stuck in sin and I can’t get out I been praying for years for god to deliver me from fornication and it seems as if it’s not working…im too weak to do it on my own and I’m just praying he would take the urge away from me and it seems like nothing is working

    1. Hello everyone We can do all things through Christ who stregthens us. I was delivered from the spirit of fornication and felt relief after I was delivered. I wanted to choose God with all my heart. I thought about if I did it again I would be worse condition. I thought about God dwelling in me and how fornication welcomes evil spirits from that person and who ever he has slept with and those spirits they have given him can com inside me. Pray!!! pray!!! prayme!. Cry out to God!!! You can cast that demon out and the name of Jesus!!! Choose LIFE!! not death.

      1. Hallelujah!!! Amen!!!
        Thanks for sharing this encouraging testimony, I know someone will be blessed by it.

    2. Pray and ask God to crucify your flesh until your husband. Ask and truly believe in your heart and it shall be done. Also don’t even put yourself in a situation where it can happen. Flee from sin. Love you!

      1. Thanks for your contribution.

  53. I love dis site am encourage….d testimony of other strengthen ones faith….I fell into fornication not too long am also a youth leader in my church……almost all the ladies I slept with her harlot…..I tink abt these consequence…..bt fail to let go….but I really want to come out….

    1. You can come out, if you heed this steps discussed. You already have dominion over sin, you only have to excercise it!

      1. Hello I have committed a great sin against God. I am fighting porn addiction and it is hard for me to resist fornication because there is a lady that has the hots for me. I just looked at porn a few minutes ago after I asked God for forgiveness. Now I feel really angry and ashamed of myself. I ask for the Holy Spirit to come upon me to purify my mind and heart but I just go back to it. I think God has given up on me. I have joined 12 step groups to fight this. But when I am alone is when I am most vulnerable. Just recently I was with the woman who likes me and we ended up fornicating. I was so angry with myself that I have been in a bad mood all week and feel like a failure. I want to do what’s right as a I am a struggling follower of Christ. Could you please pray for me

  54. having promiscuous sex before Marriage creates an ungodly soul tie, which needs to be broken through the blood of Jesus. pray and fast about it, tell God to set you free from this bondage with Satan there is a lot with sex in the spiritual realm than the physical.

  55. Please pray for me I can’t stop

    1. You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength. Philippians 4:13
      Make this your every moment confession!

    2. Dear Malisa, Its really hard to avoid fornication when your in a relationship with anyone who seduces you or causes you to be tempted, even with a stranger. Think for a moment and think if this sin is worth losing my salvation Jesus has given to me. I struggle a lot with my single life, for I have never had sex, but it’s not easy controlling ones sexual urges. I’m 22, and it’s been hard, but God has helped me avoid fornication by just not being in a relationship, but I’ve had a heavy addiction with pornography, for or would be the only way for me to avoid fornication, but that itself is sin. I always try to run away from my urges, but remember fornication is one that can affect your body. God has been graceful, and wants you to seek him, shout out to him to free you!! I’ll pray for you for I love you in Christ. Remember not to give up, do it for God and your body the temple of Christ. Gby

  56. please am a true believer of God and even some of the gifts of but can’t stop fornication I have prayed and fast bat still I now feel my giftence has gone and God not with me anymore what should I do woman of God.

    1. Hello Bro,
      I promise you, if you heed everything I have written here, you are on your way to victory!
      Meditate on the scriptures I have share here also.
      When you meditate on scriptures regularly, filling your spirit with God’s word will help you.
      Joshua 1:8

  57. Thanks for d post and the bible verses. now i have a new weapon to fight the spirit of furnication

    1. Praise God!!!

    2. Amen!

  58. Hello ma my greetings to u, how are u and your family doing? Ma, am so happy to fine this site is helpfull to what am looking for, i have been passing throught this problem of fornication since how many years now and i have pray to God to help me depart from it and also meet so meet some pastors and tell them about it and there prayed for me. But in all i still found myself living in sin..So when i was serching google to know if i will fine any help and i found this your site findout is helpful for me, i only pray to not go back to the old age.. Pls i still have more thing that you will on about my life.. Thank u once more for your helpful site..

    1. You can win fornication Augustine, God lives in you and has put in you the ability to overcome sin.
      Please inbox me at teshuva7@gmail.com and we can begin from there.

  59. God richly bless u for letting me know this secret.

    1. Praise God Doris! I am glad it is helpful to you.

  60. This has helped me a lot I know the word of God and I struggled for years I stop seeing him because the bible told me too flee fornication he’s engaged to someone else now and the devil wants me to think I missed out on my husband but I refuse to commit fornication for any man!!

    1. The devil is a liar! God has a man for every one of His daughter, He will bring your husband to you, just keep the faith.

  61. I am much disappointment of myself.i cant restrict myself of watching pornographic because am very addicted to it badly.I have prayed severally to God to put that curse on me but still no avail.Sometimes will be sitting quietly enjoying my movies but all of a sudden my mind quickly aproach and controls my heart to watch porno.please i need prayers because its hunting me more and more

    1. I will keep you in prayers Nana. You can win this if you continually feed yourself with God’s word and remove yourself from things, thoughts, places and people who might be tempting…

    2. Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41 For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power love and self discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

      1. Amen!

  62. i always commit fornication, pls i want to abstain 4rm it. pls i need God’s forgiveness and ur prayers

    1. Hi Kosky, when you ask God’s forgiveness with genuine repentance, He forgives. Now if you follow everything you have read here, I believe you will deal with it. I will keep you in my prayers.

  63. I got into things when I was pretty young. When I was 10 a female friend I had tried to make me fornicate with her. I was very innocent at that age and didn’t know what was going on. I got curious though and then I started going online and accidently stumbled on a porn site. I didn’t really know what was going on there either but I kept getting more and more curious to the point where I was doing some really stupid things that lead me to a VERY dark path. Out of nowhere, I lost everything. I had no one to talk to and no more distractions. This was when I gave my life to God. After this, I had met a man(now my fiance). Before this, I’ve never been in a “real” relationship so, again, I got curious. Now that I’m saved God has delivered me from pornography and a lot of other horrible things of the kind, but now I’m struugling with fornifacation. No matter what I do it seems I can’t stop and I want to so bad. I don’t want to seem like a hypocritical christian because God knows I have a huge desire to serve him. I’m battling but I almost feel as if I want to give up. I know I can’t though. I don’t want the desires of my past to come back, I just need help and prayer.

  64. can i really stop fornication???

    1. Yes you can! I stopped, many others stopped, so YES YOU CAN!

      1. Pls how do you stop when you do it with your colleague

        1. Make up your mind, talk your colleague, pray, and if your colleague.
          Refuse to be in the atmosphere that will allow that to happen.
          Take all the steps you need to take, your eternity is at stake!

  65. Thanks ma..am having serious challenge… am not happy with the path my life is taken. I do things i dont wish to and it hurts after… i dnt feel Gods presence anymore… i need him back in my life… am suffering from the sin of fonication.. i need help..

    1. Dear Gustavo, if you follow diligently the tips I shared here and also read I am sure you will overcome. I will keep you in my prayers. Meanwhile you can mail me directly if you want to talk further.

  66. You are a great inspiration Mum, God bless you for sharing.

    1. Praise God! God bless you bro!

  67. Thanks so much ugochi! I just told a girl who had been my sex partner that I don’t need to fornicate with her again . She started sending me text messages, cursing me & my generation but the funny part of it all is ; she texted me that over her dead body I will progress or have a cry of a baby in my family. But am not moved at all b’cos I know I ve got a good reason to quit. What do u think?

  68. Hello, thanks for the post. My story is that at a young age, I began watching porn and that has shaped my life into my desires today. I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like. I had a pornography addiction and thus led to masturbation. In high school, I was tricked by a boy to do something I have never done before and that was to give him a blow job. I have done this twice for him until I pulled away. Then for no reason whatsoever, my desires came back and I fornicated with a stranger I had never met before. Also, I was recently in a relationship where we kissed, touched, and had sex OUTSIDE. I feel so ashamed of myself. I prayed and cried and promised God to change me yet I did not have the willing heart to overcome it. I’m currently talking to another man who I’ve had sex with within a week of meeting. Its not that I cant keep my legs closed but its desires and thoughts from the mind like you said. Just wanting to “have fun” but I feel so ashamed of myself. I wish I can go back and change my life as a whole. I want God to take over and heal me but I do not hear his voice when I’m in those situations. I would like to repent to finish my school work then start dating but I do not know how to truly give myself to God and forgive myself, and move on.

    1. God is more interested in your present and future than your past. And if you call on Him in total surrender He will help you, that is the beginning point. He is the one who has put in you the desire for a fresh start and it is left for you to pursue Him in search of fulfilling that desire.
      Please send me a mail at teshuva7@gmail.com , I would like to talk with you some more.You can overcome this!!!
      Have a super blessed day!

  69. I have done all could to let go of this mess, but there seems to be a force behind that always pull me back each time. Jesus please take the wheel. I can’t do this on my own. so I’m letting go of my trust in my strength. Jesus please, please, take the wheel

    1. If you surrender completely to God and avoid situations that can lead to you committing this sin, He will help you overcome.

  70. I love ur post.as I speak to u now I want to give up on myself fr failing God.I’m tired of disappointing him n always asking fr forgiveness…I’m indeed reaping d consequences. pls pray with me

    1. You cannot give up at all, you can overcome this through Christ. Spend time with God in prayer and study of the word. I will keep you in my prayers.
      If you need to talk some more with me you can reach me at teshuva7@gmail.com.
      Stay in God’s grace.

  71. Thank u admin

  72. I’m 18. I love my boyfriend a lot and I’m a true believer. I want to get married to him next year just to not fornication but my father wouldn’t allow me to get married at this kind of age.can I have a secret wedding and then later have the one with family and friends around? I don’t want to commit fornication

    1. Hello Bianca. Give me a couple of hours and I will send you an email.

      1. Ma, I have realized in the course of my word study that marriage comes to play not necessarily because of aging but because of “burning”.

        Many Christians like myself are.encouraged to get married than to have burning passion that makes us fornicate or masturbate or even commit adultery. But in the case of Bianca here, she wants to get married at 18 (that’s if she isn’t already married), even though we would think ordinarily that’s a young age where she should face her studies like her father rejected. Another senerio for adults is where the man they are dating are not financially stable yet even d lady is yet to gain financial stability and as such waiting till then for marriage.

        The questions now are
        1. Getting married to avoid burning passion regardless the age is something. Since marriage ain’t all about sex, with other values accrued to Marriage, should people be encouraged to get married when they obviously arnt ready for the responsibilities but can be saved from fornication?

        2. Since adults who are waiting to gain fianacial balance are still “burning” at their individual levels (thanks to the society), should they be made to get married to avoid fornication (talking from the church perspective and not family now), when they are still struggling to make ends meet

        3. For an adult lady who is dating a financially unstable guy and has burning passions she is fighting with, knowing fully well that the man she is with may need about 3 more years to be stable logically speaking except a miracle takes place), should she leave the man she has grown to love to marry a financially stable man who is ready for marriage regardless of what God thinks of such a man, all so that she stops fornicating?

        4. If great Paul said it’s better to marry than to burn… Then I think we should just marry who is ready to marry us because at a certain age in some culture, you begin to get pressured till u are married. But with many rites and processes, in the western culture some men can’t go tru the stress of legal marriage but will go for the church wedding. My question is how do we cajole our partners to marry us since we don’t want to fornicate seeing all the stress involved?

        5. Lastly, a lot of my friends are getting married already and all of us have all had se* with our partners. But one of us is getting married in 2 months time and she tells the rest of us that we shouldn’t date anyone who isn’t ready for marriage. She said we should go for who is ready…. The question is should we really go for who is ready regardless of how we feel towards the man or should we just wait for our spouses?

        NOTE:
        ME AND MY BOYFRIEND (NOT YET FIANCE SINCE HE HASNT PROPOSED), HAVE STOPPED TO FORNICATE AND WE ARE GROWING IN LOVE OUTSIDE OF THE SEXUAL CONTEXT. I DONT KNOW ABOUT MY FRIENDS BUT THIS IS THE PLATFORM AM OPERATING ON.

        I NEED YOUR ANS TO BE PLACED OPENLY PLEASE AND NOT EMAILED

        THANKS

        1. Hi Joselyn,
          Thanks for taking the time to read this blog and asking these questions I believe are bugging many single people today.
          My answer is a bit lengthy and the numbering does not necessary tally with yours, but in them you will find answers to all the questions you have asked.

          Let me begin by saying that marriage does not cure fornication.
          The cure for sin is resting on the redemptive work of Christ on the cross, obedience to God’s word and leaning on His Spirit.

          1. Concerning the scripture you talked about…1 Corinthians 7:7-9 AMP
          7 I wish that all the people were as I am; but each person has his own gift from God, one of this kind and one of that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, [that as a practical matter] it is good if they remain [single and entirely devoted to the Lord] [a]as I am. 9 But if they do not have [sufficient] self-control, they should marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

          Apostle Paul was a Eunuch by choice, he was talking to the Corinthian Church and us. He is saying that he wishes everyone can be like him and stay unmarried in other to devote themselves completely to God without the distraction marriage can pose. He said further that some people are called to be Eunuchs, it is a gift, they can stay unmarried and not burn.
          He advised that those who are not called to be Eunuchs (Widows and singles) should marry so they do not burn with passion. He wasn’t prescribing marriage as a cure to the sin of fornication.

          Responsibility for a believer includes the ability to say no to desires of the flesh. So no matter how responsible anyone is, if they are not responsible in the area of controlling the flesh, they cannot be said to be responsible. Remember, marriage does not cure fornication.

          2. Financial stability is relative. In my own opinion, a financially stable man is one who has a roof over his head, a steady income, financial prudence, can feed his wife and has a great future. This is especially true if the lady is not a liability, that is, she is virtuous.

          When I married my husband, there was nothing in his financial or material state to attract me. I only saw love for God which was my greatest desire, and I saw a man who has a great future with God.
          He had roof over his head, a job and could take care of me to an extent, at least we had food on the table. I know many other couples like us who started with almost nothing but have a different story today.
          We should marry more for love. Love does not fail, but money can fail.

          3. If anyone has to cajole someone to marry him/her, then there will be plenty of cajoling to stay in the marriage, this cannot be sustained for too long and there will definitely be a collapse someday.
          For any marriage to succeed, the man and woman must be convinced in their hearts not by some cajoling…

          Please remember that marriage does not solve the problem of fornication.

          4. What does your friend mean by “ready”? Is she talking money?
          I believe that money is important in marriage but should not be the “reason” for marriage. Ladies must be willing to marry God’s plan for their lives regardless of whether or not the man has arrived financially. The basics I mentioned earlier is enough to start a marriage.
          Marriage thrives better on love than any other thing.

          MARRIAGE DOES NOT CURE FORNICATION.
          If it does, we would not have the problem of adultery. Fornication is sin like lying, stealing, cheating, hatred, unforgiveness…
          It must be dealt with by the help of God’s Word and Spirit. The Bible says because of Christ’s work on the cross, ‘sin shall not have dominion over us.’ So we must fight to put sin where it belongs, we cannot run into marriage with hopes of conquering fornication.
          No person will be with their spouse 24/7, so when his/her spouse is not around and he/she is “burning” what happens? Will they now look for the next available man or woman to help quench the passion?
          So you see, we need to deal with sin like it should be dealt with, there is no escape from sin except by yielding to The Holy Spirit and obeying God’s Word.
          Joseph refused fornication, not by running to get married but by refusing to do great evil and sin against God.
          This should be our reaction to fornication and any other sin.

          For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 1 Thessalonians 4:3

          I trust that this reply has answered your questions.

          I think you should read MARRIAGE FOR? and LIES AND MARRIAGE. Please share with your friends too. It answers some of the questions in more details.

          Hope to hear from you again. Have a super blessed weekend!
          Love

  73. Hi,
    I find this information very vital to me as a youth leader. Its a lesson worth sharing with people of all ages.
    Thanks and may your good work be blessed.

    1. Amen! Praise God. I am glad you find it so.

    2. Amen! Praise God! I am glad you find it so Wycliffe. Have a super blessed day!

  74. Hi. Fornication is only as powerful as one lets it – I’ve lost many a battle to fornication. It’s one sin that shatters my relationship with Christ. Perfect example of doing what I will not and finding how much of a depraved state I am without Christ in me. I struggle with pornography thus leading to masturbation but sometimes it feels like I can never fall into sexual immorality only for me to fall into it again. Being unmarried makes it harder but everything is possible with GOD so I fight on. Thank you for your post Ugochi and everyone that contributed.

    1. It is a big struggling when you try to win over it by yourself. Surrendering completely to Jesus, dumping pornography for good, fleeing every situation that might suggest it with you, leaving friends and atmospheres that aid it… will put you on the way to victory.

      1. Amen. I just learnt it’s not a battle we were called to fight but one we are meant to flee.. Proverbs 5:7-8. 1 Corinthians 6:18 makes it perfectly clear.. I felt very free after commenting and confessing to the LORD.. Thanks again and may the good LORD continue to be with you as you do HIS work..

        1. Amen, praise God!

      2. Wow!!! “This kind of blog dey???” Sorry for bad language but am so filled with hope, answers and instructions on the way to go from here on, after reading a whole lot of your posts and contributions from folks like me. My problems can really be fixed by a push of a button.. that’s Jesus! That is what i have sumnarized from all I’ve read here.
        Ma! You are blessed with wisdom from above.. I am unfortunately guilty of almost all the sins mentioned here(masturbation,pornography,premarital sex, fornication, cheating, dirty talks, dirty thoughts…etc) am 31 today and i want to get married so i can stop fornication but i know better now that its not by marriage that i over come fornication but by giving my life completely over to Jesus. Am gainfully employed as a civil Engr. Am an Msc graduate and i live in a onebedroom rented appartement.
        I need Jesus badly in my life because sin has kept me in chains and stopped me from progressing to be the Godfearing man i should be. Am in so much financial mess due to a gambling habit i picked up recently. Am in debt of nearly #400,000 but deep down i know once i repent fully and embrace Jesus completely i will be made free and whole again. But my current relationship with my girl friend has kept me in all these sins and more.. each time i try to focus on God only..she says am breaking up with her but when i try to continue with her i leave God’s presence and all these sins come back and mess me up more..please apart from the obvious advise of Repentance and Godly living.. how do i become the man am suppose to be and who should be my choice for a wife? (An entirely new girl or one of the 3 girls I’ve had and kept on fornicating with?)
        But truth is i want to settle down ma.. i need help.. feel free to publish reply and inbox me more personal advice..
        God bless and happy sunday..

  75. […] most visited page on this blog is currently that which I wrote on 6 Ways You Can Avoid Fornication. I have not ceased receiving mails from people (Christians and non-Christians) from around the […]

  76. Love this Ugochi. I’ve written and talked about pursuing and protecting purity and sad to say it’s not a very popular stance. I think in today’s culture we want to have our cake and eat it, live boundary-less lives, abandon discipline and common sense, “have fun”…and still reap God’s blessings and cover! Such a needed perspective today. (and i loved your post on 14 friends couples should watch out for! On point! Shared it and folks loved it)

    1. Very unfortunate Ngina! But God will help us to help one person at a time as we let our world know it displeases God and that it is possible to leave sex until after marriage.
      I am grateful to know you loved my couples’ friends post and shared it too. Thanks a lot for taking the time to leave this encouragement, have a super blessed weekend!
      Love

  77. Very sensible advice and undoubtedly needed by many.
    Not everyone has the same weaknesses and it is our own weaknesses we must both recognize and address.

    However, as to mutuality in a relationship, not everyone wants to communicate. My wife is especially solitary and private and we know we don’t communicate well. We also married late and are celibate – she doesn’t like physical touch at all! 🙂

    THAT keeps ME pretty safe! 😆

    Another area to address is unfaithfulness – including that of the MIND and imagination – and my fantasies are things I have had to reject. Not sexual ones, but those putting myself into another time (earlier or later) and finding someone who is ‘more compatible’ – when I KNOW God has chosen my wife FOR me!

    So, I confront them and REJECT them and confess to God that all He does in my life is RIGHT and that I have responsibilities, one of the first of which is to give my wife all the love and respect and honor she deserves!

    The PRACTICE of godly love, then, is another aspect of this.

    1. Wow! Thanks a lot for the lessons you shared here. I bet you and your wife are working on communicating well, God is your help.
      Yes, it is good to confront and not ignore our challenges, ignoring them won’t make them go away.
      I appreciate your coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed weekend!

  78. Good article, Ugochi.. and i so agree with the last one: RUN. Even if it means leaving your job, just trust God to provide and get out of the situation.
    Don’t forget to check us (and maybe write a guest post) at http://christianstt.com .
    Have a blessed day!

    1. Thanks a lot Dex. Running is very great at times like that. I just left Christianstt and bless God for all the good work going on there. Let me know how you want me to contribute. Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  79. This article is very useful I like the experiences shared. but my situation is I fell into a relationship with a lady whom am in the same house. Have tried several times to stop fornicating with her. Is very difficult now because cant leave the house to a new place. help me dear ones what shld I do.

    1. Flee!!! Like Joseph did, especially since you are struggling with stopping. I believe if you really want to stop, you have to be drastic about it. Take action, physical in this case and run for your life! Even if you have to go squat somewhere…

  80. So so enormous……….these articles are true and real……. I am trying them and now they are helping…………UGOCHI….more power to your elbow.

    1. Praise God Cornell! I am grateful to know you are receiving help from here. Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day, love!

      1. Thank God for this article im struggling with sexual sin, and i don’t wanna do it pray for me

        1. God strengthen you and help you overcome. May He open your eyes to see your escape from temptations in Jesus name. Amen!

  81. l believe everything said is true,but l wonder whether this is practical. Young people are fornicating out there regardless of them knowing the truth.l love God and l fear him.l don’t want to fornicate.l have a problem that all my girlfriends are living me because l don’t wanna have sex with them.what can l do???????????????

    1. If anyone is willing, God is able to grant them strength and grace to deal with their flesh. We all can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. God is not a task master, He will not ask you to do what you are not able to do. 1 John 5:3
      Any girl that wants you to disobey God is not worth marrying, wait for the one whom will share the same grounds of faith with you. And MAKE UP YOUR MIND TO OBEY GOD!

  82. That was truly an inspiring piece. Thank u so much. Most of the time, sexual sins are committed in ‘private’ places, if we can, therefore, eliminate this factor, I believe we will be victorious.
    No matter how ‘strong’ u think u re in the Lord, God will NOT guarantee u complete protection from sexua sins if u don’t FLEE.
    Thus, bottom line is, don’t stay alone with that person. It is always wiser to go to the gates to fight the enemies who have come to attack us than to allow and fight them in our rooms.

    1. I agree with you Bright. To avoid and to flee is very important in the bid to please God in our sexual lives. Thanks for coming by Bright, I hope to see you here often.

  83. To those women and men out there who are struggling in this area. I would like to encourage you to please be STRONG. Lean on the Father to help you. I know it can be extremely hard when you are used to living a life of sexual immorality. Most of us have, but we must remember that this who are fornicators and adulterers WILL NOT enter the Kingdom of heaven. There are not is, ands or buts.
    That being said, lean on his strength, and as our sister points out in this article, there are some action steps that we must take to avoid this sin and cleave to sexual purity. This also means leaving out kissing, touching, and all those other things “in between” that make us think what we are doing is okay.
    I have learned that having certain boundaries are key. For example, some of the ones I stick to (that are just personally for me, you don’t have to agree..) are- not talking on the phone with men. If they must contact me for a school project or work business, then it must be through email as a first option. (then if not possible, by phone), no texting my phone, I don’t give hugs, only hand shakes to men, When I am in public speaking to men, i keep ALL conversations about appropriate topics (I never talk about my relationship status, children, goals, dreams, finances… I always make sure that I am not like an open book for a man. It can be that for some men, when they see a vulnerable side of you, they can prey on you, even subconciously (not good). I also don’t go on dates or eat private lunches with men at work or school. I go to every length to never ride alone in a car with a man or let HIM discuss his personal life with me (such as kids, relationship status, goals, dreams, family issues and so on.
    Some may think that these are extreme, but when the bible says flee fornication, you have to begin to actually hate that sin! Don’t give room for it nor entertain that evil spirit.
    Everyone’s boundaries will be different but it is best to have some. It is already hard enough struggling against it within ourselves let alone having to deal with outside pressure. Also, it is better to keep someone at a distance ( from the begining), than to try and have someone back off once you have let them get too close and you both then become tempted.
    We must never rely on the strength you think someone else has but make sure that you are not sinning. Lastly, I would like to pose a question to all my brothers and sister that are battling with this. What do you think is that main thing that causes people to commit sexual sin? I have thought about this question, and I will state my opinion. I believe there are many factors, however there is one BIG ONE that comes to mind for both the believers and the unbelievers. BE CAREFUL OF YOUR EMOTIONS!!
    Once you open up your heart to someone ans start telling them about your whole life or venting to them about your problems or how difficult it is for you to be a single mother or things like that, it opens a door. Also when you begin to spend all of your time with someone and go out on dates and let them into your space and cooking for them (like was mentioned on this article), it begin to lead you down a path to fornication in most cases. Please be careful. Dont be so quick to think “oh I really like this person” and then start acting as if your already married to that person. Feel out the situation and make your choices wisely. Once you have already slept with someone, it then becomes harder to get out and its easy to indulge and keep going back and it can easily become a stronghold or in worst cases, an addiction. Please be wise brother and sisters.

  84. Hi Ugochi-

    I was searching for encouragement tonight and found it here! Thank you. My boyfriend and I have already sinned, and I want to stop, I’m not sure if he is completely on board! I feel like he needs to want to stop fornicating for himself, but I am committed to treat my body as a temple and honor God. Thanks again for your article. God bless!

    1. Amen! You are heading the right direction, and God will help you as you stand to please Him in obeying Him.
      I will keep you in my prayers.

  85. I can’t seem to get out of this sin , please help me, I don’t want to die and go to hell, I feel within me they is a great calling of leading people to God but it cannot function as long as I am in this sin, please help me people of God I want to live a holy life and be a servant of the Most High God.

    1. God has given you the grace to live holy. If you depend on Him and follow the outlines in the article, you will overcome fornication. You have the power in Christ Jesus. You can email me to talk some more if you want.

  86. […] two weeks ago I wrote on 6 Ways You Can Avoid Fornication, you can read all about it HERE. On demand I had to sit with God to draw out these strategies against adultery. Some of the […]

  87. Thanks alot and may God bless you more and more. I pray that God’s grace will forgive us and help us to live as His words says in Jesus name amen.

    1. Amen!

  88. I need your prayer I don’t wish to be committing fornication but I find it difficult and I am very aware that the coming of Jesus is near. Please advice and pray for me because I want to live a holy life and please send me daily advice too. God bless.

    1. God bless you Tosin, I am glad you want to stop fornication, that means God is working a good work on your heart. The article you read is a huge advice Tosin, if you will commit yourself to go through with it, you will not have to fall for fornication again. I will keep you in my prayers, and if you want you can send me an mail at teshuva7@gmail.com and I will be glad to talk more with you.
      God bless you!

  89. I really needed this. Thank you so much.

    1. Praise God! I am grateful you found it helpful.
      Do have a super blessed day!

  90. Thank you for your timely response Ugochi. May your ministry to encourage the brethren in righteousness and true holiness be enlarged. May the blessings overtake you. And may the God that is more than enough (El Shaddai) be your portion. Amen

    1. Amen Kareen! I pray you will stay in God and overcome the flesh and its desires in Jesus name, amen!

  91. I’m a lady and most guys try to take advantage of me, especially when they see that i truly love them. Them. Recently i tried to date another guy and this guy is trying to force me into fornication which i don’t want to do. Meanwhile he is in the church and a preacher I don’t understand why he should be fornicating.

    1. Hello Ama, so many people live in their flesh though they are professed believers.I am glad you do not want to fornicate but if you hang out with fornicators long enough they might influence you. Any man that wants you to disobey God is not the right man for you. Whether he is a preacher or not. Flee from such men, keep your self holy and God will bring His best man to you.

  92. Thank you. I came across this site randomly because of an incident involving my child. But as I read I use this counsel for myself. I am not sexually active but it is soooo harddddd! !!! It hurts! This has been the life I was acquainted with not abstinence! Nevertheless I press. I live like a hermit in my home. I don’t really socialize. And my male suitors I keep at a distance as I am a very affectionate touchy feely person. I am not in a relationship right now but I so desire my husband because I don’t know how long I can bear up. I find myself masturbating, something I never liked even before I converted. Now I do it. I am blessed physically in that I am beautiful, tall, shapely and well endowed and talented and I am presently doing my degree in theology, and so I am faced often with men thinking I have a boyfriend or having sex. I have neither but I long for it!! Yet I am afraid of a relationship or falling in love because my sexual desire for him will increase and I know I don’t have that will power. And my past experiences with relationships were meet, mutual like, exchange contact info, plenty communication, and by a month or so sex! So I don’t even know this friendship thing! I feel so hopeless in this area that I just think to just do it and get it over with. Sighhh. Anyhow like I said thanks for the counsel.

    1. Hello Kareen, it is a good thing that you came clean on your challenge. God knows where you are and He knows you have the ability to control your sensuality otherwise He would not say, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:” 1 Thessalonians 4:3 His commandments are not too hard,”For the [true] love of God is this: that we do His commands [keep His ordinances and are mindful of His precepts and teaching]. And these orders of His are not irksome (burdensome, oppressive, or grievous).” 1 John 5:3
      Amplified Bible (AMP)
      If you make up your mind and depend on God, think of the consequences of committing fornication or masturbating, you will buffet your body as you STUDY THE WORD AND SPEND TIME IN PRAYER… following the steps as written will help you put your sexual desires under control. YOU CAN DO IT, if you really mean it and follow hard after God. I pray you make the choice. Have a great week ahead!

  93. what is the advice for those who are engaged already?

    1. This same as what is written in the article. Sex is legal in God’s book ONLY AFTER MARRIAGE, no matter how seriously engaged the two people are. If you read carefully, you will discover that those in relationships were mentioned too. I pray you make the right decisions in your relationship and allow God to be glorified in it. Thanks a lot for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  94. Still going through d pain of leaving a relationship i built…I really want to stay away from sexual sin, but i know that joy will come in the morning.

    1. You can do it Jenny, you can overcome if you make up your mind and follow the ways mentioned in this article. I will keep you in my prayers.

      1. Thanks to God almighty for His grace in your life Ugochi. God bless you.

        1. Thanks to God brother! Thanks for coming by and have a super blessed day.

  95. I really appreciate this article because so many people are currently fighting their way out of sexual sin and with an article such as this one, I think we’ll have a better chance in winning this battle.

    I pray that God Almighty that gave you the inspiration to write down this article will continue to increase you both in faith and in wisdom in Jesus Name; all what you have written will not stand against you in Judgment in Jesus Name. Amen.

    God Bless you

    1. Amen Bro! Sorry for the late response. Thanks for coming by, do have a super blessed day!

  96. Lovely and indeed wonderful advice to us, but sister I have something to ask, firstly I had an encounter with Christ just last year January in which later I was filled with The spirit of God, but a time of temptation came to commit fornication with my step mother’s house-help which I avoided for some time but a time came when it appeared impossible for me and I struggled but the pressure was too high then I failed, now my question is based on how hard I fought not to commit it, can God intentionally allow someone to fall just for a purpose? Because now I am a youth leader.

    1. My brother, God does not want us to learn from experience of sin, He would rather that we learn from His Instructions as written in His word. Only disobedience makes us learn by experience, and many times experience is a cruel teacher.

  97. I sincerely appreciate your article, but would like if you can talk more on the areas of identifying sexual preys before marriage. What I mean is simply that, there are some persons that are sexual traps because of some certain things they do, like the way they dress, talk, mentality, their hobbies and even the places they love going. I think is high time we started addressing the issue of preparedness before dating, some things are unavoidable when some things are not avoided. Men are attracted by what they see while women by what they hear. When women start dressing decently according to 1peter 3:3-5 and the men start talking responsibly the problem and sinful nature of fornicating will be minimal. God bless

    1. I agree that these would help in the area of fornication. But you must understand that we live in a sin filled world and cannot avoid seeing sin, the men must resolve not to be moved by what they see and thinking of the consequences as I stated would help them tame their minds against sinning by what they see. I however have addressed indecent dressing by our ladies, just click HERE and read it.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day!

  98. This is something I find it difficult to pull out from. Cos I really love my Fiance’ and can’t resist him. He has always tried to make us stop too but we end up do it again. We r tired of it. I hope there will be a Change after following d above steps. But its not easy.

    1. If you allow the follow the Love of and for God lead you. You will receive the ability to say no. And then when you think of the consequences you will flee.
      I will keep you in prayers.

  99. Ive been having this challenge but then i have realized that all that God wants is the best for me..!!, i am going to pray about it and hopefully, there will be a change in my life, thanks alot, God bless you…!!!.

    1. Amen Nathan! God will if you follow all the steps and lean on God!
      I can’t wait to hear your testimony!

  100. I was blessed by your exposition

    1. Amen! I am thankful for this.

  101. A million thanks Anty Ugochi for ur advice.

    But there is a story i was told by my friend that a man once dumped his fiancee on her wedding day simply because she refuse to submit herself to him.

    My question now is; peradventure you were told in a prophecy that the man that proposed to you would remain your husband forever but all of a sudden he let you down just like i described above, should we then say is the work of the devil or a false prophecy?

    And secondly, lets assume that the girl in question had vowed never to let go until after her wedding but due to the pressure from her family members she finally give in just to secure the relationship would God ever forgive her?

    1. First Lucy, any man who fears God would not suggest that a lady disobey God to please Him. So my take to a Christian sister is that any man who wants her to commit fornication is not the right man for her.
      Second, God’s prophecy will not permit or suggest sin, no matter how “strong” the prophet is. God’s word should always be our standard…
      Third, we should stand with God and resist pressures to sin, no matter how strong and who from…
      Love for God and the desire to please Him should restrain us and we should always think of the eternal consequences of sin.
      FINALLY! GOD WILL FORGIVE ANY SIN ONCE HE FINDS GENUINE REPENTANCE.
      Thanks a lot Lucy for coming by, I hope you learnt something and I hope you will come by often.
      Have a super blessed Easter!!!
      Love

  102. Thank you for imparting us with this piece of wisdom. Since you’ve chosen to make the Word of God first in your life, you will never be last in life. I wish you more impact
    From all of us @
    Megadestiny Motivation Link
    RBN 2122128

    1. Amen! I am glad it blessed you.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note, do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  103. This is a great summary, Ugochi. I’m preparing to teach Sexual Integrity classes for youth groups and Christian schools, and Lord willing, in some public schools. Through the training, I’ve learned the importance of setting boundaries, which I think is such a huge step to staying pure. In my own relationship, I’ve noticed the importance of prayer and also avoiding the situations that would become tempting. So important. Not easy, but as you said, with God it’s possible. I think you inspired me to write another post on purity. 🙂
    Thanks for speaking the truth, sister!

    1. Thanks Becca, it sure is possible with God. I am glad you found it useful.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  104. Visiting from SITS! Great post! I feel that the touching is the gotcha & heavy attention to abstaining from it would be very helpful!

    1. Yes they are indeed.
      Thanks a lot Joi, for coming by and leaving this note.
      Please forgive the late response.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  105. Hi I found you on the Blog hop. Now following you. Please stop by and say hi when you get a minute.
    Please check out my new Weekly Goals Blog hop. You can find it here. if you would like to check it out.
    http://lenettacarnes.blogspot.com/2013/01/weekly-goals-linkup-3.html
    Have a great evening! Lenetta

    1. Thanks Lanetta!
      Please forgive the late response.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  106. I love that you wrote about this. When I first saw the title in the link up, I was intrigued.

    Girl, you got it right on the head. In our culture, we literally need to RUN away from temptation since it is ALL around us.

    Thank you for your words of truth and for linking up with us this week!
    http://talesofbeautyforashes.com

    1. Yes indeed Becky, the temptation is very fierce these days.
      Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note.
      Please forgive the late response.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  107. It takes a lot for one to dare to voice a contrary opinion about something that a lot of people trivialize or excuse- it takes one who fears God and is willing to abide by His principles for living. I have come to realize, in the course of my walk with God, that His instructions/guidelines are not meant to stifle us, or stop us from having fun, but it is for our protection and our good in the long run. Fornication carries too much unnecessary emotional baggage, apart from the spiritual consequences, and the pains are much more than the gains, if there are any gains to be had. I know it is possible not to fornicate, but first, one has to be willing not to, and also agree with God that it is wrong. Let’s call bad, that which God calls bad and not justify it with our own human reasoning.

    Thanks for sharing this girl and a happy new year to you. May all your righteous dreams never lack expression. Well done sis.

    1. The pains are indeed much more…
      I really appreciate your coming by and leaving this note.
      Please pardon my late response
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  108. I can tell you from experience that Tip #4 kept me from doing a host of mess that I had no business doing. But…”I’s married now!” Very nice list. This is definitely worth posting and spreading on Twitter and/or Facebook. Visiting from SITS.

    1. Oh me too, and it still does.
      Thanks a lot for coming by and leaving this note.
      Please forgive the late response.
      Have a super blessed day!
      Love

  109. Great advice! <3 Number 2 and 6 speak to me a lot! I put myself in too many situations where it is convenient. And when I find myself in that situation, I just need to leave...not excuse it away. Thanks!

    1. That is the way out for me too. I better run than burn!
      So sorry I had to reply this late Laura.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  110. Very helpful.What about 6 ways to avoid adultery??? I get cold to my bones at things happening in marriages.

    1. Amen! Okay, lol.
      Expect that soon, the rates of adultery has indeed gone bizarre!
      So sorry I had to reply this late sis.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  111. I like number 2 – which could be applied to a multitude of sins. Don’t invite temptation!

    1. Yes, I agree. It applies to all.
      So sorry I had to reply this late Christa.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  112. Amen!!!

    1. And amen!
      So sorry I had to reply this late Annmarie.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  113. Great advice!!!! 🙂

    1. Amen! thanks Susie!
      So sorry I had to reply this late.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

      1. I am feeling lost right now. I gave my life to Christ at 11 years, I abstained and help 1 corinthians 6 as my watch word. I was violated at 29 by a close friend, tried to make it work, it did not cos he was not a bornagain. I stayed singer for several years and two years ago I got married. My hubby was charting the same nite we married in court with his lover-or ext until 1:30 AM, i found out i was hurt, still many lies were unfolding and disloyalties, i prayed fasted, prayed with him, he was still deceitful, then I told him to be honest or give me some space- but he walked away and filed a divorce with his sister’s help.. being hurt, an old friend showed up and helped me when i was stranded, offered some help and one week-end took me for dinner, on dropping me off, i was complaining and crying and in the process of trying to calm me, he began caressing me and still having the wonderful experience of my ex in my head, i gave him two condoms to double and he had sex with me- he stopped cos i just screamed God what is happening to me am lost- he stopped and said am sorry I can’t do this to u, God please for give me, I cried till day break cos while he was making love to me in my tears, all i saw was my ex- husband but I know it was not him, I feel disconnected, I feel am not hearing from God, I feel like I have lost my annointing.. am indifferent.. please advice and pray for me…

        1. Maria, go to God and ask for mercy and forgiveness, He forgives.
          Then begin doing everything as I have written here, “bury” yourself in God’s word, it has the ability to cleanse you and help you live right. Do not neglect prayers, spend time just worship and praising God, His presence empowers you to live above sin and reproach.
          I pray God’s grace and strength upon you in Jesus mighty name! Amen!

  114. I applaud you for posting something like this, probably an unpopular opinion…but I agree with you whole-heartedly.

    Blessings,
    Meredith

    1. Thanks Meredith, I had to buckle up to do this one I must admit.
      So sorry I had to reply this late.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

  115. Good advice!

    1. Oh yes Chantal, we need to hold our vessels in dignity.
      Thanks for coming by and leaving this note.
      Do have a super blessed day!
      Love

      1. Pls check your email

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