I was at a wedding last Saturday and as the minister shared from the word to the couple and congregation, it occurred to me that there is indeed a huge difference between being married and being joined. That is not God’s original intent however, He intended that a man and woman leave their families and JOIN together to start another family, another lineage, and this joining is not just about having sex with each other. But a lot of couples seem to just be co-habiting, not really joined.
Genesis 2:24 –Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
To leave means- to loosen, that is; relinquish, forsake… (Strong’s Dictionary)
It means not just leaving your family, but your past, your SELF (Selfish desires), not holding to your perspective only any more, to leave everything that suggests a threat to your union with your spouse.
To cleave means- to properly to impinge, that is to cling or adhere; figuratively to catch by pursuit: – abide, fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard, after), be joined (together), keep (fast), stick… (Strong’s Dictionary)
One flesh here means- a properly united body, person, self, skin. (Strong’s Dictionary)
I like the word fast together or fasten together, to be joined and adhered to…very strong words. It means to get so close that you become like each other, think alike, speak alike, act alike. This does not sound strange does it? It is no wonder how you suddenly begin to think like your spouse, and when you speak people say you sound like your spouse or you have the same choice of words.
You literally become your spouse, his/her pain becomes yours, you are not able to ignore your spouse, you pay him/her adequate and required attention. You listen to your spouse, you care for your spouse, when your spouse is hurt you don’t stand aloof, or merely sympathize, but you empathize. When your spouse is not there you genuinely miss him/her and eagerly wait for his/her return.
You give your spouse premium consideration (after God) in every decision you make. You do not seek your pleasure only; in fact you put your spouse’s pleasure ahead of yours. When you are one flesh with your spouse, just like you feel every part of your body, you feel every part of his/hers because you are properly JOINED. And when this happens, both of you just naturally flow together in your union and your marriage is on the upward turn…
Becoming one is not a big mystery though some times it looks elusive, yet that is God’s primary intent for the man and his wife, that they become one. When you become one with your spouse, you are in agreement and you become strong ammunition in God’s hands. Look what God did with Abraham and Sarah, Aquilla and Priscilla, Noah and His wife and so many others. God could use them because they were one with Him and one with each other. God can do nothing great with a couple that is not properly joined, unity is a very strong force. Being properly joined does not just happen naturally, it takes lots of love, effort and patience to really join yourself with your spouse; it requires personal responsibility, to become one. Becoming is a process but the process must be encouraged.
I am still working to cleave, fighting every negative thought the enemy brings to my mind, choosing love no matter what. How about you, are you working to cleave too?