Has it ever happened to you? Suddenly out of nowhere, someone you once had a “thing” for just pops up and wants to reconnect with you? It has happened to me once and it was not funny at all. I just got proposed to and we had started talking wedding and all, when suddenly at a bus station I bumped into “an old flame”.
He started chatting me up, you know how they do it, and he asked me to accompany him to a hotel in town where he wanted to explain some things to me. According to him there were so many things I needed to understand about our past relationship, I had misunderstood him and some actions he took. I refused to go with him, that would have been a foolish move, or don’t you think?
There is another instance of a friend who boarded a plane only to discover he was sitting by an old flame that wouldn’t stop rambling about how she was still in love with him and would like to see him again. Both of them are married with children right now, but she didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact she started pestering him with numerous phone calls after then. I don’t remember if he gave her his number before or after she started making her advances. You can imagine what could have resulted if he had given in to seeing her again, they probably would have started an affair which in no way would allow them to remain faithful and devoted to their marriages. And no matter how well and how long they are able to keep it secret, it would one day come to light and their spouses…no one really likes to share their spouse with anyone or anything else.
Unfortunately, I cannot say that every spouse stands their ground and refuses rekindle “an old flame”. I have heard how marriages have been ruined because somebody was not wise enough to leave all closed doors closed. Opening doors to a past relationship can be very destructive; I believe the enemy has found it a very productive tool to spoil what would have been great marriages.
I heard about one Facebook story, a lady accepted the friend invitation from “one old flame” and they started chatting. Whether or not they ever met I cannot remember, but I learnt that one day her husband discovered she had reconnected with this guy and that was the end of that marriage.
We shouldn’t give room for such “destructive distractions”, when they happen to come we should make our stands thoroughly known, it is over and we want it to remain OVER! No matter how much pressure the old flame puts on us, we should maintain our stand and then tell our spouses for accountability. Plus we should tell our spouses about it anytime “that old flame” tries to contact us again.
There is a time for everything, we must hate evil and anything that looks like it, we must know that there is a time to hate, to hate what is not right and stand against it for as long as is needed. We must refuse to give the devil, our adversary the opportunity to make a mockery of everything we believe and stand for, everything we have built.
Do not rekindle an old flame, in fact put it out completely, don’t give it any chance. No matter how strong you think you are, it is better to avoid evil than to start explaining anything to your spouse later on.
There is…A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
1Thessalonians 5:22 (GW)
Keep away from every kind of evil.
Ephesians 4:27 (CEV)
…and don’t give the devil a chance.
Have you ever had to deal with “an old flame”? How did you handle it?
Ugochi Oritsejolomisan is a Christ-follower, wife to Benson, mother of 3 awesome boys, God's agent, speaker and blogger. Writing to inspire you for a better life in God! Find her on: google
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