Someone once told me that with all the wisdom I shared with her about making her marriage work, she was pretty sure I had no issues whatsoever with mine. I smiled, I think I laughed out loud and told her that I wish I could say so. My marriage is not bad at all, but it is not without its challenges. I have been married for only twelve years and it has been commitment, resolve, hard work and patience (on both sides) to make it get better and better through these years.
Some years back I visited Israel and was in awe of so much wisdom in display by the people of the land. I was amazed at how they could grow beautiful veggies, fruits and flowers in their desert lands. They have so grown these fruits and veggies that they even export to some countries that have as it were, lusher lands. As we visited some of these places we were told that it took a lot of hard work and patience making plants grow in these areas, they had to create the right environment for them since the natural atmosphere was not conducive for them. Hard work, the right kind of seeds and/or seedlings, the right atmosphere, hard work and a lot of patience were all in place to be able to grow plants in a dry and hard land.
As I thought about this post today, as I thought about our marriages, it occurred to me that a lot of couples look at other marriages and wish theirs could be like them. Most times it looks like everything is against your marriage being blissful, like everything being against gardens in a desert land. I also know that the grass looks greener on the other side most of the times, it is not always so, but then most of these couples do have greener marriages because they worked it out and are still working on it.
No matter how dry and hard your marriage seems right now, with some hard work, uprooting some wrong plants, planting the right ones and patiently waiting for your harvest would do a great good. Your marriage is indeed like a land, what you sow into it is what you receive, what you harvest from it. You can choose on a daily basis to sow kindness, compassion, empathy, respect, appreciation, love…into your marriage and watch it blossom into something greater than you ever imagined.
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Even if your spouse isn’t doing the same right now, I promise you when you sow these right seeds and more, it will begin to rob off on him or her and with time, you will find that both of you are moving in the same rhythm.
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
The key here is to do it long enough in patience, being kind in your patience. You ask for how long? As long as it will take for the results to come, and I tell you, when it comes, the joy it brings will make all the pain, hard work and sweat very vague for you to remember.
For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
Remember, a greener pasture happens with a lot of hard work. And when you labour, you will not lose your reward, even God says this:
In hard work there is always something gained, but idle talk leads only to poverty. Proverbs 14:23 (GW)
God can cause your marriage to turn around and blossom, you need to believe His word; He has declared His ability to:
…even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
So get to work, God is on your side waiting on you, it’s your call, it’s your move!
What’s your plan, are you working?