…To have thee, hold thee, love, cherish and honour thee. I do solemnly promise before God, to be thy loving and faithful wife, to be true and loyal to thee in every condition of life: from poverty to prosperity, from sickness to health, from the curse to the blessing. I promise to keep myself unto thee and unto thee only, till death do us part.
Those were my wedding vows, okay, not all but most of it. Most times when in reflection, I wonder why I seem to forget the vows I made on my wedding day. I made these vows eleven years, eight months and nineteen days ago, and for the most part I have not thought about these words nor deliberately, consciously planned to make good my promise.
No I am not beating up myself, I have not been a terrible wife but I know if put side by my side the vows I made to my husband, I wouldn’t be able to say, I have kept them in earnest.
I know it is so for most of us married people, we get so excited on our wedding days and make all these fantastic vows, promises and then, maybe just at the honey moon; we tear our very words apart. Some of us take time to write our own vows, our heart, what we desire to be to our husbands or wives yet, when the opportunity to be or do those things presents itself we fail.
What if every man and woman made up their minds to fulfil their vows and stick to their words? What if we took our wedding vows more seriously and not reduce them to mere words spoken in a moment of excitement. Would it help to keep reminding ourselves that those words were more than just words, to perhaps write them out or print them and put them in a place where we would continually see them so as to be reminded of our promises to each other? Would it help to know that they are not ordinary promises but covenants made and recognised by The One who joined the first ever couple, The One who instituted marriage?
As men and women of integrity, we should desire and seek to keep our words, make our words good, more so our wedding vows. Whether or not our spouses are faithful to theirs should not be a decisive factor for us. We are responsible at all times and in every condition for our actions and cannot put the blame on our spouses; any such blame is most times unacceptable. We should all do our own bits to the very best of our abilities.
Do you remember your wedding vows? The words you spoke with heart, eyes and mouth filled with love and passion for your spouse? That moment when your heart beats raced and you had happy visions or dreams of how wonderful your lives together would be. When you slipped the ring into his/her finger and thought to yourself that that was the day and the one you’ve been waiting for, do you remember? Do you remember how you wrote and rewrote the words you were going to say to him/her, checking to ensure that you wrote it just the way you felt it in your heart of hearts, do you remember.
Or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten that you loved him/her enough to trust him/her with your heart and future? Have you forgotten to remember the words you spoke to your spouse wishing he/her could open your heart and see how you felt inside? Have you forgotten and allowed the pressures you face to affect your integrity to your spouse and the God who was part of the covenant? Have you forgotten?
Let me share an excerpt from a song I love so much by Bebe and Cece Winans- These What Abouts
What about the dreams of cascades
What about the vows we pledged
Are they still alive or dead
And what about the promise to stay
Can I still believe it’s ok
Can we somehow talk about these what abouts…
God will hold us accountable for the vows we made, after all, we made it before Him. It would indeed truly make a huge difference if we remember our wedding vows and determine to keep them, or don’t you think?
But whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: 1 John 2:25 (ESV)
If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Numbers 30:2 (ESV) Emphasis mine