I looked down at my feet so he wouldn’t see the tears. Tears of regret not really pain.
He went on to tell me how the marriage was just a plan to get him to travel and get a stay.
And how he was going to get a divorce from her afterwards, and come back to marry me.
I got up and walked away, away from deceit, away from a lie, away from my disobedience.
I thought to myself that he must have seen me as a fool all the while; why else would he have the guts to tell me this unbelievable story. He must have thought me to be a fool, his fool
His family and ours had a close relationship. My Mum was very happy to know we were seeing each other. And I was going to try to keep her happy even though I had a gut feeling something was amiss.
He presented himself as a very good man and did all he could to make me see him as such.
When he spoke to me for the first time he told me a lot of things to point me to that fact.
I was still in school; he came by all the time to see me, bringing much needed gifts along.
I had this persistent gut feeling of something being amiss but I took the gifts as often as he brought them any way, believing we were going to get married.
I ignored the sick feeling in my stomach and asked God to make the feeling go away.
He was mounting pressures on me for us to get married, but that sick feeling kept me pushing it forward, thank God I did.
If the other girl insists on a no, then I would be chosen, if she changes her mind I would be dumped. Writing about it now makes even clearer the position I had put myself in.
Back to the letter…
It read something like-Darling I am so excited we have finally done the traditional payment of dowry, I cannot wait to come down for the wedding ceremony…
And I am supposed to wait for the wedding, however long it takes to get his stay, the divorce proceedings and then his home coming to marry me. What a story!
Anyway, I felt bad in my flesh because I did not like the fact that I was a second choice and he had married someone while we were still dating. But there was this sweet release in my stomach that replaced the sick feeling that was there.
If I had listened to God, and followed the promptings He was giving me,I would have walked away long before things got this messy.
Thank God I saw the letter: that gave me the strength to walk away from what would have been a great disaster. Any man who could do that, and only God knows if He meant what he said about getting a divorce from the other lady, is a man capable of anything.
So that was how I walked away…
What is the point to this very abridged “it happened to me”?
I did not have to waste my time and energy in a wrong relationship, but I chose to hang on and try to make him the right man.
- Do not ignore a check in your heart about any relationship.
- Do not try to please anyone, not even your mother, or the person. If it is not alright…walk away
- Never rush into any marriage, do all the soul and any searching you need.
- Do not make yourself gullible to any sweet talker, look beyond his/her words and peep into his/her heart.
- Do not do it without God, trust His judgement, He knows way better than you do.
Simply, ok it may be not that simple, but you should brace up, consider your happiness in the long run, then get up and walk away!
Have you ever had to walk away?
Was it easy?
Was it liberating?